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Jokes

A father buys a lie detector robot that slaps people when they lie.
He decides to test it out at dinner one night.
The father asks his son what he did that afternoon.
The son says, "I did some homework."
The robot slaps the son.
The son says, "Ok, Ok, I was at a friend's house watching movies."
Dad asks, "What movie did you watch?"
Son says, "Toy Story."
The robot slaps the son.
Son says, "Ok, Ok, we were watching prn."
Dad says, "What? At your age I didn't even know what prn was."
The robot slaps the father.
Mom laughs and says, "Well, he certainly is your son."
The robot slaps the mother.
Robot for sale...

Did you know that Germany came up with sparkling water
Who else would think of adding gas

What’s the worst part about breaking up with a Japanese person
You have to drop the bomb twice before they get the message

Women are like blackjack. I’m trying for 21, but I always hit on 14.

When Jim was playing on his phone, my grandfather told him, “You use way too much technology!”. Jim then said, “No, YOU use too much technology!” and then Jim disconnected his grandfather’s life support.

Say what you want about Pedophiles but at least they drive slow through school zones

What did one ear say to the other?
Nothing, ears don't talk they listen!

Any joke can be funny with the right delivery. Except Abortion jokes, because there is no delivery.

Genders are like the twin towers. There used to be two of them and now it’s a sensitive subject

The more suicidal people there are the less suicidal people there are

Does anyone else say their surname and spell it straight after cos no one knows how to spell it?

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