; ; ; A lawyer is paid £950 in new bills but, on counting the money, he discovers that two notes have stuck together and he’s been overpaid by £50. This leaves him with an ethical dilemma – should he... ; ;

;

; }

Money jokes

A lawyer is paid £950 in new bills but, on counting the money, he discovers that two notes have stuck together and he’s been overpaid by £50.
This leaves him with an ethical dilemma – should he tell his partner?

‘Money frees you from doing things you dislike, since I dislike doing nearly everything, money is handy.’
Groucho Marx

An economist is an expert who will know tomorrow why the things he predicted yesterday didn’t happen today.

There was a fire at the local tax office but the fire brigade managed to put it out before any serious good was done.

Don’t spend money having your shirts laundered.
Donate them to a charity shop, then when they’ve cleaned them, buy them back.

I wouldn’t say that inflation is making my life difficult, but I’m now starving on an income I used to dream about.

In Chuck Norris' yard, money does grow on trees.

Budgeting: When you work out that the money you owe is exactly the same as the money you spent.

A Lalu brought a simple, spendthrift wife from a small town in Bihar.
He convinced her that they should go for Honeymoon.
The wife would not understand complex term as honeymoon and kept asking for explanation.
Lalu said,
"Let me feel you my manhood in Honeymoon and you would know."
They went.
Had lots of fun and came back.
Wife back at home asked,
"I still don’t understand what is this honeymoon that we went for."
The Husband said,
"Oh, we were together, had so many hugs, kisses, varieties of sex, jokes, fun all that is honeymoon."
The spendthrift wife got angry, "You should have told me that before. Back in town, Malu, Kalu, Suru and I were together all the times, and had this fun without spending a dime of my money."

Bills travel through the post at twice the speed of cheques.

Why don't cows ever have any money?
Because the farmers milk them dry.

;

;}