Always borrow money from a pessimist He won’t expect it back …

Never hit a man with glasses. Hit him with a baseball bat instead. …

Sign in the pharmacy’s соndом aisle:
“No balloon, no party.” …

Money can’t buy happiness but it makes misery a lot easier to live with. …

We have enough gun control. What we need is idiот control. …

Good girls are bad girls that never get caught. …

A computer beat me at chess once but it was no match for me at kick boxing.
How is it that one careless match can start a forest fire but it takes a whole box to start one in your fireplace?
We now live in a society where the pizzeria can bake a 14″ pepperoni and get it to your house faster than the ambulance
Stealing ideas from one person is plagiarism. Stealing ideas from many people is research.