Animal Jokes

Newest jokes in this category
Chukchuk is in a Quiz Contest trying to win Prize money of Rs.1 Million US$
The questions are as follows:
1) How long was the 100 yr war?
A) 116
B) 99
C) 100
D) 150
Chukchuk says,
"I will skip this"
2) In which country are the Panama hats made?
A) brasil
B) chile
C) panama
D) ecuador
Chukchuk asks for help from the University students
3) In which month do the Russians celebrate the October Revolution?
A) january
B) september
C) october
D) november
Sardar asks for help from general public
4) Which of these was King George VI first name?
A) eder
B) albert
C) george
D) manoel
Chukchuk asks for lucky cards
5) The Canary Islands, in the Pacific Ocean, Has its name x-udd on which animal:
A) canary bird
B) kangaroo
C) puppy
D) rat!
Chukchuk gives up.
Scroll down.......
If you think you are indeed clever and laughed at Chukchuk 's replies, then please check the answers below:
1) The 100-year war lasted 116 years from1337-1453
2) The Panama hat is made in Ecuador
3) The October revolution is celebrated in November
4) King George's first name was Albert. In 1936 He changed his name.
5) Puppy. The Latin name is INSULARIA CANARI This means islands of the puppies. Now tell me who's the dumb one... Don' Ever Laugh at a Chukchuk again.
(ChukChuk community lives some where in Siberia)
Money jokes Animal Jokes Military Jokes
Osama-bin-Laden had traveled into town after several weeks in the desert with his trusty camel. The camel had been his sole companion for years but eventually, time had slowed the poor beast down.
Laden was considering getting a new camel when he saw a sign outside of a store: WE MAKE YOUR CAMELS TRAVEL FASTER. GUARANTEED OR YOUR MONEY BACK!
He looks at his camel and decides to give it a shot. He goes in the store with his camel and the vendor asks him,” What can I do for you?”
“Well, friend” Laden replies, “I noticed your sign and I’m interested in your help. You see my camel’s been slowing down a bit and I don’t really want to trade him in for a new one.”
The vendor says, “That won’t be necessary here. We make your camels run faster. It’s guaranteed.”
“OK Let’s do it.”
The vendor says, “Please pull your camel over this way onto the platform.”
While Osama is steadying his camel onto the platform, the vendor disappears into another room and returns with two large bricks.
“Stand back,” he cautions Laden.
The vendor goes behind the camel with bricks in hand, and smashes the camel’s ваlls. The camel runs out of the place like a bat out of hеll.
“Wow!,” says Osama, “That’s the fastest I’ve seen him run in years! But how am I going to reach him now?”
The vendor says with a smile, “Please step onto the platform, sir.”
Money jokes Animal Jokes Friendship Jokes
Two camels, a father and son are grazing. The younger camel looks up to his father and says “Dad! Why do we have these giant humps on our backs?” The father camel looks down on the son and says. “Why, so we can travel for miles in the desert without stopping for water.” The young camel looks astonished and says “Wow, I didn’t know that!”
A few minutes later, the younger camel pips up again “Dad! Why do we have really thick eyelids?” The older father, rather agitated by his son’s curiosity, answers quickly. “So that our eyes are not scratched by sand storms. “Wow!” The young camel says…
Another minute later and the father camel hears his son again. “Dad!”.
“What now!” The father camel asks. The son then asks. “Why do we have huge feet?”
“Well son.” The father camel starts. “We need to tread through the sand and out feet are big so we can travel much easier…”
A few minutes pass before the father hears his son again. The father camel, clearly agitated turns round. “What!?”
“Dad…. What the fuск are we doing in a zoo then?”
Animal Jokes Dad Jokes
Our teacher asked what my favorite animal was, and I said,
"Fried chicken."
She said I wasn't funny, but she couldn't have been right, because everyone else laughed. My parents told me to always tell the truth. I did. Fried chicken is my favorite animal. I told my dad what happened, and he said my teacher was probably a member of PETA. He said they love animals very much. I do, too. Especially chicken, pork and beef.
Anyway, my teacher sent me to the principal's office. I told him what happened, and he laughed, too. Then he told me not to do it again.
The next day in class, my teacher asked me what my favorite live animal was. I told her it was chicken. She asked me why, so I told her it was because you could make them into fried chicken. She sent me back to the principal's office. He laughed, and told me not to do it again.
I don't understand. My parents taught me to be honest, but my teacher doesn't like it when I am. Today, my teacher asked me to tell her what famous person I admired most.
I told her, "Colonel Sanders."
Guess where I am now ...
Office and Work Jokes School Jokes Animal Jokes Dad Jokes
One day, while swinging through the jungle on a vine, Tarzan was passing close to the edge of a cliff when the vine broke, and he fell into the jungle far below. There he lay, in a coma for several days, before he was found by a jungle medicine man. The medicine man took him back to his hut, and did the best he could to repair, and heal Tarzan’s injuries.
Weeks later Tarzan woke up and the medicine man told him of his injuries. “Tarzan,” said the medicine man “you were severely injured in the fall, and I had to use what I had available to heal you. You lost your arms, so I replaced them with those from a gorilla. You lost your legs, which I replaced with those from a kangaroo. But I fear your worst injury was the loss of your реnis. But don’t worry, I was able to attach an elephant’s trunk which should serve you well.” He then told Tarzan to return in one month to up-date his progress.
One month later, true to his word, Tarzan returned. The medicine man asked how he was doing.
Tarzan said, “The gorilla arms have given me great strength.” He said. “I never need fear falling again. And the kangaroo legs have made one of the fastest creatures in the jungle. I can outrun just about any animal.”
The medicine man asked, “but what of the elephant’s trunk that replaced your реnis?”
Tarzan replied, “It serves me well, I have only one problem. Every time I bend over, it stuffs grass up my аss.”
Animal Jokes Men jokes
Animal Jokes