Skip to main content

  • Home
  • Categories
  • Popular
  • Funny pictures
  • Most Popular Jokes
  • Latest Jokes
  • Jokes about Women
  • Religion jokes
  • Office and Work Jokes
  • Gross Jokes
  • Sports Jokes
  • School Jokes
  • Marriage and Family Jokes
  • Kids Jokes
  • Medical and Doctor Jokes
  • Dark Humor Jokes
  • Blonde Jokes
  • Animal Jokes
  • Dirty jokes
  • Chuck Norris Jokes
  • Donald Trump Jokes
  • Drinking and Drunk Jokes
  • Putin Jokes
  • Sex Jokes
  • Christmas Jokes
  • Jewish Jokes
  • Police Officer Jokes
  • Weed Jokes
  • Old People Jokes
  • Mother-in-Law Jokes
  • Masturbation jokes
  • Political Jokes
  • Vulgar jokes
  • Genie jokes
  • Aviation Jokes
  • Nurse jokes
  • Psychology and Psychiatry Jokes
  • Knock-knock jokes
  • Scottish Jokes
  • Soccer Jokes
  • Lawyer Jokes
  • Dad Jokes
  • Gynecology Jokes
  • Rude Jokes
Вицове за Животни Animal Jokes Tierwitze Chistes de animales Анекдоты про животных Blagues sur les animaux Barzellette sugli Animali Ανέκδοτα με ζώα Вицеви за животни Hayvan Fıkraları Анекдоти про тварин Piadas de Animais Dowcipy o zwierzętach Djurskämt Dieren moppen Dyrevittigheder Dyrevitser Eläinvitsit Állatos viccek bancuri cu animale Vtipy o zvířatech a přírodě Anekdotai apie gyvūnus Anekdotes par dzīvniekiem Vicevi o životinjama
My Jokes Edit Profile Logout
  1. Home
  2. Animal Jokes

Animal Jokes

Newest jokes in this category
An 86-year-old man went to his doctor for his quarterly check-up…
The doctor asked him how he was feeling, and the 86-year-old said, ‘Things are great and I’ve never felt better.’
I now have a 20 year-old bride who is pregnant with my child.
“So what do you think about that Doc?”
The doctor considered his question for a minute and  then began to tell a story.
“I have an older friend, much like you, who is an avid hunter and never misses a season.”
One day he was setting off to go hunting.
In a bit of a hurry, he accidentally picked up his walking cane instead of his gun.”
“As he neared a lake, he came across a very large male веаvеr sitting at the water’s edge..
He realized he’d left his gun at home and so he couldn’t shoot the magnificent creature.
Out of habit he raised his cane, aimed it at the animal as if it were his favorite hunting rifle and went ‘ваng, ваng’.”
“Miraculously, two shots rang out and the веаvеr fell over dead.
Now, what do you think of that?” asked the doctor.
The 86-year-old said, “Logic would strongly suggest that somebody else pumped a couple of rounds into that веаvеr.”
The doctor replied, “My point exactly.”
0 0
0
Medical and Doctor Jokes Animal Jokes Men jokes Old People Jokes Friendship Jokes
Some people say putting helium in animals is wrong, I say whatever floats your goat.
0 0
0
Animal Jokes Double Meaning and Wordplay Jokes
How does a firefly feel when it loses its glow?
De-lighted!
0 0
0
Animal Jokes
* Cats rule. Dogs drool.
* Cats use a litter box. Dogs use your leg.
* Cats will wait until you've read your morning paper before tearing it to shreds.
* Cats look cute sleeping on the TV. Dogs crash right in front of the screen.
* Why do you think they call it "Dog Breath?"
0 0
0
Animal Jokes
Why didn't Noah swat those two mosquitoes?
0 0
0
Animal Jokes
Why do elephants have 4 feet?
Because they'd look silly with 6 inches.
0 0
0
Animal Jokes
A dog вrееdеr bred a bulldog and shitzo. He called it a вullshiт.
0 0
0
Animal Jokes
Viаgrа has come out with an animal feed called Viagriculture for use in the barnyard.
It makes the roosters feel cocky and the hens lay better.
0 0
0
Animal Jokes
As migration approached, two elderly vultures doubted they could make the trip south, so they decided to go by airplane.
When they checked their baggage, the attendant noticed that they were carrying two dead raccoons.
"Do you wish to check the raccoons through as luggage?" she asked.
"No, thanks," replied the vultures. "They're carrion."
0 0
0
Animal Jokes
While at the dinosaur exhibit in Disney’s Animal Kingdom park, I overheard a confused woman complaining to her friend.
She said,
"How could they possibly know the names of all those dinosaurs if they died 75 million years ago? And another thing, how do we even know they were called dinosaurs?"
0 0
0
Jokes about Women Animal Jokes Friendship Jokes
Two rabbits were being chased by a pack of wolves. The wolves chased the rabbits into a thicket.
After a few minutes, one rabbit turned to the other and said, “Well, do you want to make a run for it or stay here a few days and outnumber them?”
0 0
0
Animal Jokes
"When I walk into a room, I expect your undivided attention. Don't look over here or over there, look at me. If you say something to me, I just may want to ignore you. That's my prerogative. In addition, when I utter so much as a sound, you are to smile, nod approvingly, and praise me."
Sounds like your boss, right?
Well, you're half right. I'm also your cat!
0 0
0
Animal Jokes
A recent survey has said that 29% of owners sleep with their pets on the bed. I tried it once, fuскing goldfish died…
0 0
0
Animal Jokes
If a dog sniffs your аss, you're probably a вiтсh.
0 0
0
Animal Jokes
If a parrot is able to recite the Lords Prayer does that make it a bird of prey?
0 0
0
Animal Jokes
What did the Bloodhound say after the briefing?
"Smells like a plan!"
0 0
0
Animal Jokes
The following conversation took place in a park.
Person 1 “Is that ur dog?”
Person 2 “No I had to adopt him. I spent years trying to make one but in the end wasn’t able to conceive.”
0 0
0
Animal Jokes
A cat in Florida had its life saved by a blood transfusion from a dog.
Unfortunately, it later died from exhaustion after chasing itself around the house.
0 0
0
Animal Jokes
Did Noah include termites on the ark?
0 0
0
Animal Jokes
In good weather, my friend Mark always let his yellow-naped Amazon parrot, Nicky, sit on the balcony of his tenth-floor apartment. One morning, Nicky flew away, much to Mark’s dismay. He searched and called for the bird, with no luck.
The next day when Mark returned from work, the phone rang. “Is this Mark?” The caller asked. “You’re going to think this is crazy, but there’s a bird outside on my balcony saying, ‘Hello, this is Mark.’ Then it recites this phone number and says, ‘I can’t come to the phone right now, but if you will leave a message at the tone, I will call you back.’ So I'm guessing this is your bird?”
0 0
0
Office and Work Jokes Animal Jokes Friendship Jokes
  • Previous
  • Next
Privacy and Policy Contact Us