USA Jokes

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What borders on stupidity?
Mexico and Canada.

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USA Jokes

Donald Trump is starting a petition to stop the sale of pre-shredded cheese.
He’s very serious about trying to make the USA grate again.

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USA Jokes Political Jokes

This Clown Craze has gone too far.
I mean think about it
Donald Trump President of America

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USA Jokes Political Jokes Donald Trump Jokes American Presidents Humor

Typical good start to the Ryder Cup from America -
Arnold Palmer, one under

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USA Jokes Sick and Death Jokes

America's First Law of Motion:
An object in motion tends to stay in motion, and an object tends to stay at rest, unless an external force acts upon the object.
Meaning
America tends to go its way unless acted upon by Osama.
America's Second Law of Motion:
The acceleration of a body is proportional to the force applied on it.
Meaning
The number of sleeping pills an American takes is directly proportional to the number of video tapes Osama releases.
America's Third Law of Motion:
For every action, there is an equal and opposite reaction.
Meaning
For every death of an American, there is a death of an afghan.

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USA Jokes Political Jokes

Flights with Aer Lingus to USA from Dublin for £50.
Use of the toilet £300.

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USA Jokes Aviation Jokes

When interviewers asked USA presidential candidate Gary (“Aleppo”) Johnson to find Syria on a map, he showed them a piece of sandpaper.

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USA Jokes Political Jokes

Mexico’s president has cancelled his trip to America to visit Trump.
The wall isn’t even built yet and it’s already keeping one out.

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USA Jokes Political Jokes

An Irishman goes into a bar in America and orders three whiskeys. The barman asks:
“Would it be better for if I put all three shots in one glass?” …
…
The Irishman replies:
“No! I have two other brothers back home in County Cork, so every time I come into a pub, I order a shot for them both.”
The following week, the Irishman orders just two whiskeys.
The barman asks:
“Did something happen one of your brothers?”
“Oh no,” replies the Irishman. “Me New Year’s resolution was to quit drinking!”

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USA Jokes Irish jokes

So, Donald Trump has chosen Mickey Pence as his vice-president….
…. Not even Walt Disney could’ve imagined that one day Mickey and Donald would be running America!!

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USA Jokes Political Jokes

On a scale of North Korea to America, how free are you tonight?

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USA Jokes Political Jokes

For the record USA….
Today is 9/11.

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USA Jokes Political Jokes

I was reading about former baseball stars in America, and apparently Lou Gehrig died of Lou Gehrig’s disease.
What are the odds?

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USA Jokes Sick and Death Jokes

- Mommie, what is a Canadian? - It's an unarmed North American with health insurance, sweetie

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Canadian jokes USA Jokes American Jokes Insurance Comedy

18 year olds: "Can I please have a cigarette? Or a вееr?" US government: Best I can do is war

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Beer Jokes Political Jokes USA Jokes

United kingdom: Driving on the left side of the road. United States: Driving on the right side of the road. Russia: Driving on any side of the road.

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Russian Jokes USA Jokes British Jokes

Earth map we have. Earth map aliens have

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Alien Jokes USA Jokes

Took my Daughters fishing in Florida and they catch their first Сосаinе. Happy 4th of July

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Fishing Jokes USA Jokes

"You should be saying thank you to me for trying to end this conflict by building the Death Star."

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Donald Trump Jokes USA Jokes

You were like a brother to me.I loved you! Ты не мой брат, ты моя область!!

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Donald Trump Jokes USA Jokes

Some of you may die, but it is a sасrifiсе i am willing to make.

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Elon Musk and Tesla Jokes USA Jokes

When no one has thanked you today

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USA Jokes JD Vance jokes

Let them buy teslas

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Elon Musk and Tesla Jokes USA Jokes

Pippin accidentally getting added to the Sauron-Saruman-Denethor group chat

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Lord of the Rings and Hobbit jokes USA Jokes Donald Trump Jokes Donald Trump administration jokes Superhero Jokes

85% of Americans don't know how to do basic math.
Thank God I'm part of the other 25%.

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USA Jokes American Jokes