Canadian jokes

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Jaws Canada

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Why do Canadian women use a hockey puck instead of tampons?
Cuz they last for three periods.
(I am truly sorry)

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How do you know Justin Bieber is Canadian?
Only a Canadian could get a #1 on Billboard with a song called Sorry.

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How can you spot a Canadian
They're the ones that say "Thank You" to the ATM

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Canadian guy: Let’s watch a movie.
American: Sure. How about The Titanic?
Canadian: What’s that about?
American: Yes. A big one. It sank.

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My wife says I get mean when I drink whiskey. Now I drink Canadian whiskey.
I am still mean but I am apologetic aboot it. #sorry

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What do you call a Mexican-Canadian рiмр business?
Hoes, eh?

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Canadian summer
I asked my Canadian buddy "Did you have a good summer?"
He said "No! I was working that day."

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If I had a Nickel for every terrible Canadian rock band, I know I'd at least get a Nickelback.
I'll let myself out.

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U. S. singles may be bills, and Canadian singles may be coins...
... But Asian singles are in my area.

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What's the difference between imitation bread and the Canadian prime minister?
One is fake dough, the other is Trudeau.

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A Canadian accidentally bumped into a hard of hearing person.
Legend has it that they're still saying sorry to each other.

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A baby seal walks into a bar...
... and says,"I'll have anything but a Canadian Club."

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Heard this while at a Canadian airport.
Lady: We're going to the states for a few days.
Oldman: I wouldn't do that if I were you.
Lady: Why not?
Oldman: It's full of Americans.

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How do you sink a Canadian submarine?
You knock on the door and they will open it and invite you in for a beer

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What did the canadian guy say after working out at a gym so much the machines broke?
I'm sorey...

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A Canadian man visits a lighthouse...
The lighthouse keeper is with him at the top, cleaning the bulb, when a loud horn is heard in the distance.
"What's that about?", the Canadian asks.
"Yes."

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With all this outrage over blackface I'm here to defend our Canadian Prime Minster as the most Canadian Prime Minister ever.
I mean who else ever said I'm sorry so much over his double dark roast?

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Why do Canadian School Teachers bring pain killers before teaching the alphabet?
Because E is always sore

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ONLY AMERICAN AND CANADIAN'S WILL GET THIS RIGHT AWAY. Why can't a hand be 12 inches long?
Because then it would be a foot.

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