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Butt jokes

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Kan jeg få den i numsen? Selvfølgelig, men lad os klare vaccinen først. Докторе, може ли в дупeto? Разбира се, но нека първо сложим ваксинта
Hey doc, can I get it in my butt? Yes, but we've gotta do the vaccine first!
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Butt jokes Medical and Doctor Jokes Dirty jokes
A man notices that his wife’s вuтт is growing in size. “I’m sure your вuтт is as huge as my grill.”
His wife scoffs, but he grabs a tape measure, measures her bottom, measures the grill, and taunts her that they’re approximately the same size.
That night, he attempts to see if he can strike it rich. “Not tonight,” his wife responds.
He asks her why not, to which she responds, “Do you really think I’m going to fire up this big-аss grill for one little wеinеr?”
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Butt jokes
What do you call a ghost that lives in your вuтт?
An аss-soul.
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Butt jokes
What do you call the fear of spiders crawling up your вuтт?
Arachnoprobia.
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Butt jokes
Why did the вuтт plug cross the road?
The chick farted.
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Butt jokes
Which state is a pain in the вuтт to go to?
Prostate.
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Butt jokes
What do you call when someone gets a trophy of a cat’s вuтт?
It is a catastrophe.
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Butt jokes
A girl takes her big fат cat to the vet.
“My cat is very fат,” she says. “Alright,” says the vet. “I will look at him.”
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Butt jokes
The vet picks up the cat and examines its teeth. Then she looks at its eyes. Then into its ears. Finally, she turns to the girl and says,
“I’m very sorry. I’m going to have to put your cat down.”
“Oh no! Because he’s so fат?”
“Yes,” says the doctor. “My arms are very tired.”
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Butt jokes
What do you call a murderer with two butts?
An assassin.
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Butt jokes
Did you hear about the man who installed a window in his вuтт?
It was a pane in the аss.
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Butt jokes
Do you know what the standard SI unit for insults is?
Butt Hertz.
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Butt jokes
What do you call вuтт plugs for men?
Man hole covers.
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Butt jokes
What do you call a man with 10 rabbits up his вuтт?
Warren.
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Butt jokes
What do you call a fат person with a flat вuтт?
A hipobottomless.
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Butt jokes
For a couples anniversary, this guy’s wife wants to get the words “beautiful вuтт” tattooed across her аss since he’s always saying how beautiful her вuтт is.
She goes to get the tattoo, but the artist says that the words are too long and she doesn’t have enough room. She decided to abbreviate the words to BB, one B on each cheek. The artist says he can do that.
Later, she gets home to find her husband in bed reading. She strips for him, turns around and bends over and grabs her ankles. Her husband looks at her аss and says “Who the hеll is BOB?”
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Butt jokes
What did the вuтт plug say to the other вuтт plug?
Nothing because they were both up-tight аsshоlеs.
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Butt jokes
What happens when you say ‘роор?’
Your mouth moves just like your вuтт-hole does when you роор.
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Butt jokes
There was once a woman who was obsessed with naming everything she owned. She bought a house one day and couldn’t decide what to name it, so she told herself, “I’ll sleep on it, and the first thing I see tomorrow morning will be the new name of my house!”
She wakes up the next day and rolls over. Her spouse was outdoors doing yard maintenance. She noticed him bending over with his large hairy вuтт hanging out of his pants, so she named her house Hairy Вuтт.
When she stood up to assist her husband with yard work, a stray dog strayed into their lawn. They opt to keep it. She takes the dog for a stroll and notices that he sniffs all the sidewalk cracks, so she names him сrаск.
The next day the dog runs away, and she calls the police. She tells them, “I looked all over my hairy вuтт but couldn’t find my сrаск!”
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Butt jokes Dog jokes
What do you get when you put both halves of your вuтт together?
A buttwhole.
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Butt jokes
What’s the similarity between smoking a cigarette and eating p*ssy?
The taste changes the closer you get to the вuтт.
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Butt jokes
What’s a more concrete term for вuтт сrаск?
Asphalt.
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Butt jokes
What does an angry caterpillar become?
A Вuтт-hurt-fly.
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Butt jokes
A husband was watching a women’s 100m in Tokyo Olympics with his wife.
Wife: She has a big вuтт for a runner.
Husband: The short distance runners have вiggеr butts, the longer distance runners don’t. They run their аss off.
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Butt jokes
Did you hear how Thor saved Loki’s вuтт?
With an Asgard.
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Butt jokes Superhero Jokes
Do you know how much I’ve spent on toilet paper this month?
A вuтт load.
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Butt jokes
Do necrophiliacs like аnаl?
Butt of corpse.
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Butt jokes
What do a вuтт hater and a bread lover have in common?
They’re both gluten tolerant.
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Butt jokes
A man seeks medical help because he has a tapeworm. “Come back tomorrow with two bananas and a Snickers bar,” advises the doctor. The patient is perplexed, but he does what he is told.
He returns the next day with two bananas and a Snickers bar. The doctor then inserts both bananas and the Snickers bar up the man’s behind.
The doctor then instructs him to return the next day with two bananas and a Snickers bar. The man is puzzled, but he does as he is told.
This method is repeated by the patient and the doctor for 5 days. On the sixth day, the doctor instructs the patient, “Bring two bananas tomorrow, but instead of a Snickers bar, bring a mallet.” The patient is once again perplexed, but he complies.
The next day, the doctor inserts both bananas into the man’s buttocks before hastily grabbing the mallet and waiting.
All of the sudden, the tapeworm pops out saying, “Hey! Where’s my snickers bar?”
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Butt jokes
If a politician’s mouth throws out вullshiт, what does the pope’s вuтт throw?
Holy shiт.
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Butt jokes
What’s the difference between yellow cake and a big вuтт?
One is a pound cake, the other is a cake you pound.
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Butt jokes
What do you call a wig for your аss?
I Can’t Believe It’s Not Вuтт Hair!
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Butt jokes
What do you call a winged horse that helps people shove stuff up their вuтт?
A Peg-assist.
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Butt jokes
Why is it so much bad to be a вuтт doctor?
You’d see so much weird shiт.
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Butt jokes
My butthole watching me pour hot sauce over everything
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Butt jokes
When your butthole hurts but you remember why
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Butt jokes Dirty jokes
This is how the black hole eats space and time. Follow me for more "quantum physics for dummies" tips
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Physics jokes Jokes about Women Butt jokes Dirty jokes
My friend studying in Canada sent me this. Organic Chemistry is his favorite and everyone attends all the classes
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Canadian jokes Butt jokes Chemistry Jokes
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