USA Jokes

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Nancy Pelosi - “I’ve decided to make a dessert, It’s called a USA downside up cake. I have to bake it before I read the recipe.”

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USA Jokes Political Jokes

Anyone really that surprised that USA’s first gold medal at the Rio Olympics involves shooting a gun?

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Sports Jokes USA Jokes

Don’t worry America.
Kanye West 2020 will fix everything.

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USA Jokes Political Jokes

America is a country which produces citizens who will cross the ocean to fight for democracy but won't cross the street to vote.

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USA Jokes

If you think things are bad in America now……..
Just wait till Trump watches The Purge.

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USA Jokes Criminal Jokes

I love magicians. Who’s that guy in America who made those landmarks disappear? Oh right, yeah, Bin Laden.

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USA Jokes Sarcasm Jokes

Teacher, "Martha, come to the blackboard and tell us on the world map where America is."
Martha point to America correctly.
Teacher, "Good. Now John, you tell us who discovered America"
John, "Martha just did"

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School Jokes USA Jokes

Trust America to name a State after a bucket of fried chicken.

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USA Jokes Stupid Jokes

Only in America do we chain $2.00 ink pens to the counter but leave our $58,000 cars out in the driveway.

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USA Jokes

Teacher: Class, who can go to the board and show us the map of the North America?
George: Yes, ma'am.
Teacher: Okay George.
George: Here is the map of North America.
Teacher: Class, who discovered North America?
Class: George!

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USA Jokes

Only on America do we accept weather predictions from a rodent but deny climate change evidence from scientists.

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USA Jokes

In America its called the big ваng theory, in england they call it Jeremy Kyle.

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USA Jokes

Earth without "art" is just "eh". And The United States of America without "heunedtatesam" is just "Тiтs of Erica".

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USA Jokes Boob Jokes

A new scientific study has found that Americans are the fattest group of people on the planet. Chasing the ‘American Dream’ does not count as exercise America.

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USA Jokes

Why do Americans choose from just two people to run for president and 50 for Miss America?

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USA Jokes

What’s the difference between the USA and a bird? ….
On a bird, the left wing and right wing work together for the benefit of the whole bird.

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Office and Work Jokes USA Jokes Political Jokes

A man walks up to a cashier in a grocery store. He says,
"Hey, how much for these jalapeño peppers?" He pronounces it "jo-la-pen-o", not "hо-lo-peen-yo".
The cashier says,
"Sir, that's not what those peppers are called."
The man replies,
"Listen, buddy, this is America, and I can pronounce any word the way I please." The cashier responds, "That is as may be, sir, but those are green peppers."

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Men jokes USA Jokes

TEACHER: John, why are you doing your math multiplication on the floor? JOHN: You told me to do it without using tables.
TEACHER: Maria, go to the map and find North America.
MARIA: Here it is.
TEACHER: Correct. Now class, who discovered America?
CLASS: Maria.
TEACHER: Glenn, how do you spell “crocodile?”
Glenn:
“K-r-o-k-o-d-i-a-l”
TEACHER: No, that’s wrong
GLENN: Maybe it’s wrong, but you asked me how I spell it.
TEACHER: Donald, what is the chemical formula for water? DONALD: H I J K L M N O. TEACHER: What are you talking about? DONALD: Yesterday you said it’s H to O.

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Insult Jokes USA Jokes Math Jokes

An example of the new America: A brother and sister were driving to a couple stores and the conversation of buying things they needed came up. As they were talking, the sister mentioned that she needed to get a new car. The brother said, “Well, you have a college degree now, so you can go get the job that pays you more." The sister, who made between 10 and 11 dollars an hour said, “I already got the job that my college degree will get me. Now what?”

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Office and Work Jokes USA Jokes

At a local college there was a dance. A guy from America asked a girl from Sweden to dance.
While they were dancing he gives her a little squeeze and says, “In America we call this a hug.”
She says, “Yaah, in Sweden, we call it a hug too.”
A little later, he gives her a peck on the cheek and says, “In America we call this a kiss.”
She says, “Yaah, in Sweden we call it a kiss too.”
Later that evening after quite a few drinks, he takes her out on the campus lawn and proceeds to have sеx with her and says, “In America we call this a grass sandwich.”
She says, “Yaaah, in Sweden we call it a grass sandwich too, but we usually put more meat in it.”

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USA Jokes Sex Jokes Sarcasm Jokes