Animal Jokes

Newest jokes in this category
A couple go for a meal at a Chinese restaurant and order the ‘Chicken Surprise’,
The waiter brings the meal, served in a lidded cast iron рот.
Just as the wife is about to serve herself, the lid of the рот rises slightly and she briefly sees two beady little eyes looking around before the lid slams back down.
‘Good grief, did you see that?’ she asks her husband. He hadn’t, so she asks him to look in the рот. He reaches for it and again the lid rises, and he sees two little eyes looking
Around before it slams down..
Rather perturbed, he calls the waiter over, explains what is happening, and  demands an explanation.
‘Please sir,’ says the waiter, ‘what you order?’
The husband replies, ‘Chicken Surprise’
(You’re going to love this, and you’re going to hate yourself for loving it!…)
‘Ah! So sorry,’ says the waiter, ‘I bring you Peeking Duck
Animal Jokes
Animal Jokes Men jokes
A guy walks into a bar with an octopus. He sits the octopus down on a stool and tells everyone in the bar that this is a very talented octopus.
He can play any musical instrument in the world. He hears everyone in the crowd laughing at him, calling him an idiот, etc. So he says that he will wager $50 to anyone who has an instrument that the octopus can’t play.
A guy walks up with a guitar and sets it beside the octopus.
The octopus starts playing better than Jimi Hendrix, just rippin’ it up. So the man pays his $50. Another guy walks up with a trumpet.
The octopus plays the trumpet better than Dizzie Gillespie. So the man pays his $50.
Then a Scotsman walks up with bagpipes. He sits them down and the octopus fumbles with it for a minute and sits it down with a confused look.
“Ha!” the Scot says. “Can’t you play it?”
The octopus looks up at him and says, “Play it? I’m going to sсrеw it as soon as I figure out how to get its pajamas off.”
Animal Jokes Men jokes