Animal Jokes

Newest jokes in this category
A Rabbit walks into the bar, goes up to the bartender and says,
"I want a cup of coffee.” The bartender says,
"We don’t serve coffee here"
So the Rabbit leaves, but when he leaves he sees two friends entering the bar so he joins them. His friends ask for a вееr and sandwich but the rabbit says "I wanna cup of coffee"
The bartender says,
"We don’t serve coffee here"
So the rabbit leaves again, but he sees two more friends so he joins them in the bar. His friends order a вееr and a sandwich but the Rabbit still says,
"I want a cup of coffee"
"Look,” says the bartender "we don’t serve coffee here. Now leave or I will nail your ears to the bar!"
So the rabbit leaves, but he yet again sees two more friends and enters the bar.
But this time the rabbit says,
"Do you have a hammer?"
"No" replies the bartender
Do you have any nails?"
"No"
"Then I want a cup of coffee"
Animal Jokes Friendship Jokes
A pair of chickens walk up to the circulation desk at a public library and say, 'Buk Buk BUK.' The librarian decides that the chickens desire three books, and gives it to them. The chickens leave shortly thereafter.
Around midday, the two chickens return to the circulation desk quite vexed and say,' Buk Buk BuKKOOK!' The librarian decides that the chickens desire another three books and gives it to them. The chickens leave as before.
The two chickens return to the library in the early afternoon, approach the librarian, looking very annoyed and say, 'Buk Buk Buk Buk Bukkooook!' The librarian is now a little suspicious of these chickens. She gives them what they request, and decides to follow them.
She followed them out of the library, out of the town, and to a park. At this point, she hid behind a tree, not wanting to be seen. She saw the two chickens throwing the books at a frog in a pond, to which the frog was saying, "Rrredit, Rrredit, Rrredit..."
Animal Jokes
Animal Jokes
A male whale and a female whale were swimming off the coast of Japan when they noticed a whaling ship. The male whale recognized it as the same ship that had harpooned his father many years earlier. He said to the female whale, “Lets both swim under the ship and вlоw out of our air holes at the same time and it should cause the ship to turn over and sink.” They tried it and sure enough, the ship turned over and quickly sank. …
…
Soon however, the whales realized the sailors had jumped overboard and were swimming to the safety of shore. The male was enraged that they were going to get away and told the female, “Let’s swim after them and gobble them up before they reach the shore.”
At this point, he realized the female was becoming reluctant to follow him. “Look,” she said, “I went along with the вlоw job, but I absolutely refuse to swallow the sеамеn.”
Jokes about Women Animal Jokes Men jokes
A city man was tooling down a country road when his car sputtered to a complete stop near a field filled with cows. The driver, getting out to see what was the matter, noticed one of the cows looking at him. "I believe it's your radiator," said the соw.
The man nearly jumped right out of his city slicker britches! He ran to the nearest farmhouse and knocked on the door. "A соw just gave me advice about my car!" he shouted, waving his arms franticly back toward the field.
The farmer nonchalantly leaned out beyond the doorframe to glance down the field. "The соw with two big black spots on it?" the farmer asked slowly.
"Yes! Yes! That's the one!" the excited man replied.
"Oh. Well, that's Ethel," the farmer said, turning back to the man. "Don't pay any attention to her. She doesn't know a thing about cars."
Animal Jokes Men jokes
Bear Hunting.
Don was so excited to be going bear hunting.
He spotted a small Brown Bear in the woods and shot it.
Then there was a tap on his shoulder, he turned around to see a big Black Bear.
The Black Bear said, Don, you’ve got two choices, either I maul you to death or we have sеx. Don decided to bend over.
Even though he felt sore for two weeks Don soon recovered and vowed revenge.
He headed out on another trip where he found the Black Bear and shot it.
There was another tap on his shoulder.
This time a huge Grizzly Bear was standing right next to him.
The Grizzly said, That was a huge mistake Don.
You’ve got two choices.
Either I maul you to death, or we have rough sеx.
Again, Don thought it was better to comply.
Although he survived, it took several months before Don finally recovered.
Outraged he headed back to the woods, managed to track down the Grizzly and shot it.
He felt the sweet taste of revenge. But then there was a tap on his shoulder.
Don turned round to find a giant Polar Bear standing there.
The Polar Bear said, “Frickin’ Неll Don, admit it, you don’t really come here for the Hunting, do you..?
Animal Jokes Sex Jokes