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Animal Jokes

Newest jokes in this category
What band is a соw favorite?
Moody Blues.
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Animal Jokes Music and Musician Jokes
A guy walks into a quiet bar carrying three ducks-one in each hand and one under his left arm.
He places them on the bar, has a few drinks, and chats with the bartender.
The Bartender is experienced and has learned not to ask people about the animals that they bring into the bar, so he doesn't mention the ducks.
He and the guy chat for about 30 minutes before the guy has to go to the restroom.
Now, the bartender is alone with the ducks.
After an awkward silence, he decides to try to make conversation.
"What's your name?"
He says to one of the ducks.
"Huey," answers the first duck.
"How's your day been, Huey?"
"Great.
Lovely day.
Had a ball.
Been in and out of puddles all day."
"Oh, that's nice," says the bartender.
Then he says to the second duck, "And what's your name?".
"Dewey," comes the answer.
"So how's your day been, Dewey?"
"Great. Lovely day. Had a ball.
Been in and out of puddles all day.
If I had the chance, I would do it all again."
So the bartender turns to the third duck and says,
"So, you must be Louie."
"No," growls the third duck, "My name is Puddles. And don't ask about my day."
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Animal Jokes Bar and Bartender Jokes
Did you hear about the man with five keen senses?
He still lacked common and horse!
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Animal Jokes Men jokes
What's the best way to catch a unique rabbit?
Unique up on him.
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Animal Jokes
Why does a dog stay in a shadow.
Because it doesn't want to be a Hotdog.
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Animal Jokes Dog jokes
What dinosaur can't stay out in the rain?
Stegosaur-rust.
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Animal Jokes
"May I buy half a rabbit?"
"No, we don't split hares."
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Animal Jokes
What do you call a lion wearing a cravat and a flower in its mane?
A dandy lion.
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Animal Jokes
What is slimy and wobbly, tastes of raspberry and lives in the seas?
A red jellyfish.
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Animal Jokes
When do rabbits have buck teeth?
When their parents won't get them braces.
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Animal Jokes
What do you get when you cross a frog and a rabbit?
A rabbit that says,
"Ribbit."
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Animal Jokes
What's yellow, comes from Peru, and is completely unknown?
Waterloo Bear, Paddington Bear's forgotten cousin.
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Animal Jokes
What's a moo hoo for a bunch of wеirdо cattle?
A nerd herd.
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Animal Jokes
How did the close race between the rabbit and the tortoise end?
It was won by a hare.
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Animal Jokes
Where do sharks come from?
Sharkago.
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Animal Jokes
What did the lions say to his cubs when he taught them to hunt?
Don't go over the road till you see the zebra crossing.
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Animal Jokes
How do you make a small fortune out of horses?
Start off with a large fortune!
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Animal Jokes
What did one skunk say to another?
And so do you.
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Animal Jokes
Which rabbit stole from the rich to give to the poor?
Rabbit Hood.
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Animal Jokes
What do you call a show full of lions?
The mane event.
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Animal Jokes
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