Animal Jokes

Newest jokes in this category

How do you weigh a whale?
On Whale Weigh Scales.

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Animal Jokes

When should you feel sorry for a skunk?
When its spray pump is out of order!.

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Animal Jokes

What do tigers wear in bed?
Stripey pyjamas.

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Animal Jokes

Teacher:
"Name five things that contain milk."
Pupil:
"Butter, cheese, ice cream … and two cows."

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Animal Jokes School Jokes Food Jokes

Why don't they let Blondes swim in the ocean?
Because they can't get the smell out of the tuna.

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Blonde Jokes Animal Jokes

Did you hear about the horse with the negative altitude?
He always said "Neigh"

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Animal Jokes

Where does a kangaroo go that can't hop?
Hopspital.

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Animal Jokes Medical and Doctor Jokes

Why don't whales eat sushi very often?
Of course whales like sushi.
It's just those itty-bitty chop sticks that keep getting stuck in their teeth.

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Animal Jokes

Gemma:My dog doesn't have a nose.
Ortoise: How does he smell?
Gemma: Awful!

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Animal Jokes Dog jokes

Did you hear about the boy who was told to do 100 lines?
He drew 100 cats on the paper.
He thought the teacher had said lions.

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Animal Jokes School Jokes

Why was соw afraid?
He was a соw-herd.

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Animal Jokes

What is a соw's favorite lunch meat?
Bullogna.

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Animal Jokes Food Jokes

How should you treat a baby goat?
Like a kid.

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Kids Jokes Animal Jokes Baby Jokes

What do you get if you cross a соw with a tension headache?
A bad mood.

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Animal Jokes Medical and Doctor Jokes

What did the slug say as he slipped down the window very fast?
How slime flies.

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Animal Jokes

A dog goes into a job centre and asks for employment.
‘Wow, a talking dog,’ says the clerk.
‘With your talent I’m sure we can find you a job at the circus.’
‘The circus?’ says the dog.
‘What does a circus want with a plumber?’

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Animal Jokes Dog jokes

Why is a blonde like a turtle?
They both get fuскеd up when they're on their backs.

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Blonde Jokes Animal Jokes

Why was the cannibal looking peeky?
Because he had just eaten a Chinese dog!

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Food Jokes Animal Jokes Dark Humor Jokes

Two women are on a transcontinental balloon voyage. Their craft is engulfed in fog, their compass gone awry. Afraid of landing in the ocean, they drift for days. Suddenly, the clouds part to show a sunlit meadow below. As they descend, they see a man walking his dog.
One of the flyers yells to the figure far below, "Where are we?"
The man yells back, "About a half mile from town."
Once again, the balloonists are engulfed in the мisт. One flyer says to the other, "He must have been a lawyer."
The other says, "A lawyer! How do you know that?"
The first says, "That was easy. The information he gave us was accurate, concise, and entirely irrelevant."

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Judge and Court Jokes Jokes about Women Animal Jokes Men jokes Lawyer Jokes Travel and Tourist Jokes

Customer: "Waiter, there’s a fly in my soup."
Waiter: "That’s all right sir, he won’t drink much."

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Waiter Jokes Food Jokes Animal Jokes