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Redneck jokes

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What did a red neck say when he lost his virginity?
Thanks, mom.
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Redneck jokes
Redneck was busy in removing a 2 wheels from his car,
Anant asks: Y r u removing a wheel from ur car ?
Redneck: Can't u read 'Parking for two wheelers only'
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Redneck jokes
Q:What do cops hate the most about hillbilly мurdеr cases?
No dental records and ALLLLL the DNA matches!!
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Redneck jokes
Redneck Teases his ex-wife's new husband: So, dude how was the second-hand stuff?
New husband: Not bad. After the first inche, she was brand new.
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Redneck jokes
Latest product in the market: George Bush condoms - ideal for f*ckers who dont know when to pull out
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Redneck jokes
One redneck to the other: Do you think I should tell my folks I’m adopted?
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Redneck jokes
What’s the downside of being a redneck kid at Christmas?
You just have one set of grandparents to get presents from.
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Redneck jokes
When two rednecks divorce, do they still remain family?
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Redneck jokes
Redneck:
"My girl broke up with me... at least she said we could still be cousins.
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Redneck jokes
"Why don’t rednecks get sick so often?
Germs have their pride too.
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Redneck jokes
You know you might be a redneck when:
You see a "No сrаск" sign and you pull your pants up.
You see your farts as your best jokes.
The dog can’t help gagging whenever he sees you eat.
You finally get to cutting the grass and find a car.
You think the stock market has a fence around it.
Your family tree is just one long trunk with no branches.
Your beard attracts birds.
You took out your toothpick only for wedding pictures.
Fast food is hitting a possum at 80 mph.
You've at least once hit a deer with your car because the food store was already closed.
You’ve ever had the thought rat traps made acceptable gifts.
A night trip to the bathroom involves mud boots.
People hear you coming in your car quite a long time before they get to see you.
You have lard on your bedside table.
You had to ditch your back seat bench so all your children could fit in.
Sixth grade is senior year.
You have a really bad fall and the one thing you save is your вееr.
You had to buy a VCR because all the wrestling matches are on when you're at work.
You take your garbage to the dump and come back with more than you brought there.
They banned you from the zoo because you distress the monkeys.
You keep seeing your neighbors on Jerry Springer.
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Redneck jokes
You know you might be a redneck woman if:
There’s a spit cup on your bedside table.
You have more than one fur coat – all home made.
When something should be stored cold, you put it in the shade.
You see family reunions as a good chance to meet boys and your mother agrees.
You've ever had to get financing for a tattoo.
You’ve been married three times but your in-laws are still the same people.
Preparing a bubble bath involves beans for dinner.
Your fridge and you weigh roughly the same.
You owe money at the dollar store.
The school encourages you to stay away from PTA meetings at your son’s school.
You can burp your name.
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Redneck jokes
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* A small note: It is NOT OK to use REDNECK JOKES, although they are hilarious, to make actual people feel bad. Putting others down never won anybody any real friends, even when people laugh with you at the time. You will be influenced by everything you give out, so best give out something positive. And hey, while you're at it, enjoy these mean, wrong and ridiculously funny jokes, for, you know, academic purposes!
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Redneck jokes
Two rednecks are having a вееr together...
One redneck asks the other, "If I slept with your wife and we had a child together, would that make us kin?" The other redneck responds, "I ain't sure, but it would at least make us even."
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Redneck jokes
What's a redneck's favorite dating website?
Ancestry. Com
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Redneck jokes
What does a redneck Buddhist believe in?
Reintarnation.
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Redneck jokes
What do you call it when a redneck comes back from the dead?
Reintarnation
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Redneck jokes
If a redneck dies in battle....
Does he go to y'allhalla?
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Redneck jokes
The only thing harder than diamonds
A redneck at his family reunion
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Redneck jokes
A redneck broke up with his girlfriend
It wasn't all that bad, she said they could still be cousins.
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Redneck jokes
Why are redneck crimes so hard to solve...
Because everyone has the same DNA and there are no dental records.
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Not original, I heard it on satellite radio yesterday.
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Redneck jokes
Why is it so hard to solve a redneck crisis мurdеr?
They have no dental records and they all have the same DNA...
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Redneck jokes
What did the redneck say when it started to rain ice?
*"What the hail?"*
I'll ^see ^^my ^^^way ^^^^out.
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Redneck jokes
How did you compliment a redneck?
Nice tooth
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Redneck jokes
Have you heard of the Redneck Metric system?
Instead of meters, everything is measured in yays.
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Redneck jokes
A redneck's truck breaks down, so he bangs on the steering wheel...
... and the truck starts.
His buddy asks, "Why does hitting things make 'em work?"
The farmer smiles, "trick we picked up from the slаvе days."
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Redneck jokes
A redneck couple are getting married
Shortly after the ceremony, the priest announces 'those who wish to shoot their guns in celebration, please do so now or forever hold your piece".
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Redneck jokes
How does a redneck un-stick a bolt
Double-Yee 40
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Redneck jokes
Why does a redneck go to a family funeral?
To meet women.
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Redneck jokes
A redneck looks at a Mexican right in the eye and says,
"How does it feel to marry my ex wife and have my sloppy seconds?"
"Not bad," replies Juan,"after 2.5 inches deep she felt brand new"
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Redneck jokes Mexican jokes
When the manager at Home depot speaks fluent redneck. Deer
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