You know you might be a redneck when:
You see a "No сrаск" sign and you pull your pants up.
You see your farts as your best jokes.
The dog can’t help gagging whenever he sees you eat.
You finally get to cutting the grass and find a car.
You think the stock market has a fence around it.
Your family tree is just one long trunk with no branches.
Your beard attracts birds.
You took out your toothpick only for wedding pictures.
Fast food is hitting a possum at 80 mph.
You've at least once hit a deer with your car because the food store was already closed.
You’ve ever had the thought rat traps made acceptable gifts.
A night trip to the bathroom involves mud boots.
People hear you coming in your car quite a long time before they get to see you.
You have lard on your bedside table.
You had to ditch your back seat bench so all your children could fit in.
Sixth grade is senior year.
You have a really bad fall and the one thing you save is your вееr.
You had to buy a VCR because all the wrestling matches are on when you're at work.
You take your garbage to the dump and come back with more than you brought there.
They banned you from the zoo because you distress the monkeys.
You keep seeing your neighbors on Jerry Springer.
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