Attitude Jokes

Newest jokes in this category

If you can't beat the record, you can beat up its owner.

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Attitude Jokes

"What else can we think about?"
- Insomnia

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Attitude Jokes

I am known at the gym as the "before picture."

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Attitude Jokes

Here, you can always find a party. Where I come from, the Party can always find you.

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Attitude Jokes

They said too much of everything is bad... But too much of goodness ain't bad?

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Attitude Jokes

Sorry I didn't text you back, but my phone recognized your number.

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Attitude Jokes

The only reason I've been going out with this guy all summer is because I have no idea how to operate my gas grill.

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Attitude Jokes

All I'm saying is why blame it on being lazy when you can blame it on being old?

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Attitude Jokes

I'm good at multitasking and procrastinating, which means right now there are at least 28 things that I'm putting off until later.

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Attitude Jokes

Just tell me when and where and I'll be there 20 minutes late.

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Attitude Jokes

There's never enough time to do it right, but there's always enough time to do it over.

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Attitude Jokes

You can't have everything, where would you put it?

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Attitude Jokes

If it ain't broke, I haven't borrowed it yet.

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Attitude Jokes

I'm at my most amazing when no one is paying attention.

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Attitude Jokes

I'm an antisocial-psychic. I can see ahead of time that I won't want to talk to you.

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Attitude Jokes

Better to understand a little than to misunderstand a lot.

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Masturbation jokes Attitude Jokes

I'm a humble person, really. I'm actually much greater than I think I am.

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Attitude Jokes

When I see ads on TV with smiling, happy housewives using a new cleaning product, the only thing I want to buy are the meds they must be on.

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Attitude Jokes

All my party planning skills revolve around exit strategies.

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Attitude Jokes

How do I stay humble? Well, it's not easy, but I start by being generally bad at almost all things.

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Attitude Jokes