Blonde Jokes - Page 79

A blonde, redhead, and a brunette were thinking about what they would do if they went to space. The redhead said,
"I would adopt a martian." The brunette said,
"I would give Pluto some steroids." The Blonde said,
"I would go to the sun." The redhead replied, "But you would burn up and die." The blonde responded, "Not if I went at night."

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Blonde Jokes

Why did the blonde like lightening? She thought someone was taking a picture of her.

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Blonde Jokes

This blonde calls me and says,
"What's your phone number? I cant find it!"

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Blonde Jokes

A man walks by a blonde, who is holding a pig. The man asks, "Where did you get her?" The pig answered, "I won her at the fair."

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Blonde Jokes Men jokes

A blonde is wearing a pair of socks that don't match, one is red and the other is white. Her friend sees her out and says,
"You know your socks don't match, right? You're wearing one red sock and one white sock." The blonde responds, "That's so weird! I have another pair just like it in my drawer at home."

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Blonde Jokes Friendship Jokes

A blonde and a brunette are watching a TV show. The brunette bets the blonde $10 that the man in the episode would jump off a bridge. The man jumps off the bridge and blonde pays the the brunette $10. The brunette feels guilty because she had already seen the episode, so she confesses to the blonde. The blonde says,
"I've seen it too, but I didn't think he would jump again."

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Blonde Jokes Men jokes

A police officer sees a blonde woman driving and knitting at the same time. Exasperated, he drives up next to her and screams out the window, "Pull over!" The blonde responds, "No Silly, it's a scarf."

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Jokes about Women Office and Work Jokes Blonde Jokes Police Officer Jokes

A blonde gets lost and calls for directions. The operator asks which cross streets she's at. The blonde replies,
"I'm on the corner of Walk and Do Not Walk."

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Blonde Jokes

A brunette, redhead, and blonde are stranded on the edge of a cliff. An angel appears and instructs them to jump off the cliff and say out loud what they would like to land on safely. The brunette goes first. She jumps and says,
"Pillows!" She lands on a pile of pillows at the bottom. The redhead goes next. She jumps and says "Feathers!" She lands on a mass of feathers below. The blonde walks up to the edge, but trips on a rock, yelling, "Shiт!" as she falls off.

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Blonde Jokes

How do you get a blond on the roof?
You tell her the food is on the house.

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Food Jokes Blonde Jokes Double Meaning and Wordplay Jokes

Three men are all working on building a house. They go up to the roof for lunch, and unwrapped their sandwiches. The Brunette says "if I get one more Tuna sandwich, I'm going to jump off this roof and кill myself. The black haired one says "if I get one more pickle and lettuce sandwich, I, too, am going to jump off this roof and кill myself. The blonde looks at his sandwich and also declares, "if I get one more peanut butter and jelly sandwich, I'm going to jump off this roof and кill myself." The next day, they all get the same sandwiches and кill themselves. That night, their wives all meet up and mourn. "If I had known that my husband was going to кill himself over a sandwich, I wouldn't have given it to him." The brunette cries. "Same," the raven head replies. They both look at the blonde. "Don't look at me, he packed his own lunch!"

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Food Jokes Blonde Jokes

A blond and a guy go in a elevator
The guys ask were shes going she says to give blood i get 20$ from it were are you going?
Guy says to donate sреrм i get like 500$ from it
Next day they meet again he asks were shes going she says sреrм bank with her mouth full

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Blonde Jokes Dirty jokes

Why do blonde girls walk in groups of odd numbers?
Because they can't even!

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Blonde Jokes Double Meaning and Wordplay Jokes

"Out in the sea a ship sank. The only survivors were a brunette, a red head and a blonde. The only choice they had was to swim 100 metres back to shore. The brunette left first and swam 70 metres but she drowned. The red head left second and swam 80 metres but she drowned. The blonde was last and she swam 50 metres but she got tired and swam back."

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Blonde Jokes

What is the mating call of a blond? I'm so drunк. What is the mating call of a brunette? Is that blonde gone yet? What is ther mating call of a redhead? NEXT!

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Blonde Jokes Sexist Jokes

Why can't blondes tie shoes?
They just can't grasp the concept that the long thing goes around the hole, not into it.

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Blonde Jokes Sex Jokes

A blonde goes into a computer store and asks the clerk, “Where do you keep the curtains for computers?” The clerk answers with a puzzled face, “Curtains for computers? You don’t need curtains for computers.” The blonde’s eyes widen and she shakes her head as she answers, “Hello!?? My computer has Windows!!”

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Blonde Jokes

A blonde sees a thermos in a store. She asks a clerk, "What is that and what's it for?" The clerk answers, "It's a thermos that keeps hot things hot and cold things cold." The blonde says,
"I'll take it." When she gets to work, her blonde boss asks, "What is that?" The blonde worker says,
"It's a thermos. It keeps cold things cold and hot things hot."
"Whatcha got in it?"
"A cup of coffee and a Popsicle."

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Office and Work Jokes Blonde Jokes

A blonde police officer pulls over a blonde driver and says,
"You failed to stop at the red light. Let me see your driver's licence." The blonde asks, "What does that look like?" The blonde cop answers, "It is rectangular and has your picture on it." The blonde looks around inside her purse and mistakes her mirror for the license. When she hands it to the blonde officer, he looks at it and replies,
"Oh, I didn't know you were also an officer. You can go!"

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Office and Work Jokes Blonde Jokes Police Officer Jokes

Three blondes had boyfriends all named John and they kept getting confused. They decided to name them after sodas. The first girl said,
"I'll call mine 7 Up, because he's seven inches and he's always up." The next girl said,
"I'll call mine Mountain Dew, because he mounts me and knows exactly what to do." The last girl goes, "I'll call mine Jack Daniels." The other girls yelled at her and said,
"That's not a soda! That's a hard licker!"

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Blonde Jokes