Canadian jokes

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In which way is the U.S. better than Canada?
It has nicer neighbors!

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What constitutes fifty percent of Canada?
The letter A.

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How did the веаvеr bid farewell to the maple leaf tree?
He said, “It really has been nice gnawing you!”

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Why do Canadians love helping people in times of trouble?
Because they are Can-aid-ians.

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What was my father’s reaction when he imported a tree from Canada?
He said, “This looks quite oak, eh?”

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Why was my Canadian friend who was in the timber business so muscular and strong?
He was lumber jacked!

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How was the Canadian student kicked out of class?
The teacher sat him down and then asked him to leave.

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What is the name of the city in Canada that is filled with wild cats?
The city of Van-cougar.

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During the ice hockey game, I tried to sneak into the front of the line.
Unfortunately, the guard caught me and told me, “Quebec to the end of the line!”

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I was invited to Canada by my friends over there…
They were planning to have a New Year’s part-eh!

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When someone commits a first-degree мurdеr in Canada…
It becomes a 34-degree мurdеr in the US.

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What’s a Canadian’s favorite comedy show?
It’s Always Snowing in Winnipeg.

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What is the only place in the world where the United Kingdom and Latin America meet?
British Columbia.

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What’s an example of a Canadian tourist advertisement?
“This is the land where frostbite and sunburn happen in the same week.”

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How does a Canadian confess their love?
By saying, “I love you more than poutine!”

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What’s every Canadian’s favorite soap opera?
The Cold & The Beautiful.

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I told my friend I’m not really Canadian…
But he was having Nunavut!

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Why isn’t Canada real?
It’s all mapleleaf.

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A Canadian man told me he was 100 years old.
I replied, “I Canada beleaf you are 100!”

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While we were on a hunting trip to Canada, there was this deer that we kept tracking but couldn’t catch.
It led us on a wild moose chase.

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