Christmas Jokes

Newest jokes in this category

I've just ordered a book called Overcome Procrastination
I intend to read it over the Christmas holiday.

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Christmas Jokes

What's Rick Grimes' favorite holiday?
Christmas, Carl

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Christmas Jokes

Someone actually wished me Merry Christmas
Merry Christmas to you too, Team Snapchat

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Christmas Jokes

How did Darth Vader know what Obi-Wan Kenobi was getting for Christmas?
He felt his presents…

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Christmas Jokes

Why didn't Captain Nemo get any Christmas presents?
Because he was on the Nautilus...

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Christmas Jokes

My 5 year old daughter wants a Тамроn for Christmas
She has no idea what it is, but she knows what you can do with it.
Swim, ride, hike, dance, play tennis, ...

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Christmas Jokes

I kept pulling the string from my Christmas hat and now its half the size
Oops, wrong thread

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Christmas Jokes

My parents tried to surprise me with a car this Christmas...
Fortunately they missed.

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Christmas Jokes

What does a Christmas tree and a monk have in common?
They both have ornamental balls

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Christmas Jokes

I wonder if George Michael was a оrgаn donor
So he could really give his heart to someone special this Christmas.

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Christmas Jokes

The Jedi know what we're getting for Christmas
They have sensed our presents

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Christmas Jokes

What do Christmas lights have in common with jeffery Epstein
They dont hang themselves

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Christmas Jokes

Hey! You know, they've started offering free meditation retreats at the North Pole!
Turns out the Christmas elves are really present minded.

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Christmas Jokes

My mate wished me a Merry Christmas earlier.
A bit early, yes, but he suffers from premature congratulation.

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Christmas Jokes

What happened to the Portuguese man when he got no presents for Christmas?
He got post-Natal depression

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Christmas Jokes

I got my kid a puppy for Christmas but it died.
Now all I have is this puppy.

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Christmas Jokes

Cinderella was waiting for her christmas photos to be sent in the mail.
Even though they were very late she stayed positive, thinking: ‘One day my prints will come’.

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Christmas Jokes

I hope I get $100 of bitcoin as a Christmas present
I mean $120.23
Edit $97.56
Edit 2 $103.55
Edit 3 $111.47

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Christmas Jokes

Where do you go to have a white Christmas in the 1940s?
Germany

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Christmas Jokes

What do all Muslim girls want for Christmas?
Blow up dolls.

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Christmas Jokes