Christmas Jokes

Newest jokes in this category

Darth Vader is fighting Luke Skywalker...
Darth Vader says to Luke:
"Luke, I know what you're getting for Christmas."
Luke:
"How could you possibly know?"
Vader:
"I felt your presents."

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Christmas Jokes

My friend wants to look more like Kurt Cobain.
I'm getting him a shotgun for Christmas.

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Christmas Jokes

What does Rick Grimes do at Christmas?
Go Christmas CORALing

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Christmas Jokes

Jokes on this subreddit is every Christmas present from an old person...
You get it, you appreciate the thought, but then you give it away to someone else in a slightly different packaging without a second thought.

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Christmas Jokes

George Michael was jus here...
And then wham!
It was his last Christmas

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Christmas Jokes

Last Christmas, George Michael's heart gave up...
Now he's never gonna dance again.

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Christmas Jokes

So I guess 2016 was George Michael's
Last Christmas

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Christmas Jokes

What's the рiмр saying to his staff on Christmas?
Hoe, Ное, Ное!

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Christmas Jokes

A guy wore a Hanukkah shirt to a Christmas party...
He was in the Menorah Tee.

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Christmas Jokes

My co-workers must be atheists because they hate when I greet them "Merry Christmas!"
It doesn't seem to matter whether I greet them from over or under the bathroom stall.

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Christmas Jokes

What am I not taking on Christmas this year?
Noels

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Christmas Jokes

I decided to get my girlfriend and her sister new jackets for Christmas
That is why I bought a pair of new gloves.

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Christmas Jokes

If the majority of people in the US celebrate Christmas
Then the amount of people that celebrate Hanukkah are in the menorahty

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Christmas Jokes

What does a drug addict and a child have in common?
They both want tablets for Christmas.

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Christmas Jokes

What is invisible and smells like milk and cookies? Santa’s burps.
What is invisible and does NOT smell like milk and cookies? Santa’s farts.

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Christmas Jokes

Isn't it embarrassing how Santa ends up having the same wrapping paper like your mum and dad.

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Christmas Jokes

At Christmas, mother says to Little Johnny, "Go on and light up the Christmas tree Johnny.“
Johnny runs off happily and comes back after a while, asking, „Should I light up the candles, too“

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Christmas Jokes

Where would Santa hide gifts for his elves?
In his clauset.

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Christmas Jokes

Why should you never mess with Santa?
Because he’s got a black belt.

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Christmas Jokes

Fox News reported news of an unidentified flying object on Christmas Eve.
It was a U-F-hо-hо-hо.

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Christmas Jokes