Christmas Jokes

Newest jokes in this category

Little girl wrote to Santa, asking him to give her a baby sister for Christmas.
Santa replied promptly, asking her to send her mother.

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Christmas Jokes

Where does Santa send the elves‘ wages?
To the snow bank.

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Christmas Jokes

Why do spies rarely enjoy the Christmas holidays?
They hate giving away their presence.

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Christmas Jokes

Never fight Santa Claus. He has a black belt.

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Christmas Jokes

How do we know Santa is a man?
No woman with an ounce of dignity would wear the same outfit for so many years running.

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Christmas Jokes

Christmas tip: Wrap empty boxes in Christmas wrapping paper. When your child misbehaves, toss one into the fire.

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Christmas Jokes

Why does Santa use reindeer to pull his sleigh?
Because huskies can’t fly.

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Christmas Jokes

What would you call an elf who is an excellent swimmer?
An elfin.

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Christmas Jokes

What’s the price of Santa's sleigh?
Nothing, it's on the house.

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Christmas Jokes

Why would no bank ever give Santa a loan?
Because all his accounts are frozen.

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Christmas Jokes

Walking down the street I wonder if at Christmas we celebrate the birth of Jesus, or of General Electric.

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Christmas Jokes

I heard elves love to sing when they work on children’s toys. They are very good wrappers.

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Christmas Jokes

A boy is running around his yard in early December, chanting, “I SO WISH I GOT A NEW BIKE FOR CHRISTMAS!”
An elderly man watches him go on for a while, then comes over and says, “Son, what is this about, Santa ain’t deaf, you know?
- ”
The little boy, out of breath, smiles, “He probably isn’t, but my auntie Jane is.”

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Christmas Jokes

Christmases are always quite hard on the turkeys, but at least they don’t go hungry. In fact, they are stuffed since morning!

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Christmas Jokes

What is a correct name for an old snowman? Puddle.

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Christmas Jokes

Santa is with us throughout our lives, although his presence can be categorized in four main stages:
1. You are a believer in Santa.
2. You are not a believer in Santa.
3. You pretend to be Santa.
4. You look like Santa without even trying.

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Christmas Jokes

Mum, are we going to have Grandpa Joe for Christmas?
No, darling, Just the turkey.

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Christmas Jokes

All throughout the Christmas Eve and the silent wonders of the magical night, it is a happy Christmas. Then the kids barge into the living room in search of gifts and turn the season to a happy Christmess.

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Christmas Jokes

Santa has a good employment package. 1 month – Santa Claus, 11 months – Santa pause.

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Christmas Jokes

What goes oh-oh-oh? Santa doing the moonwalk.

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Christmas Jokes