Dirty jokes

Newest jokes in this category

Roses are red,
Violets are blue,
Bitch give me some head, And I'll fuск the shiт out of you!

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Dirty jokes

When I was 23, if the president was hitting on me, I'd f**k him, too.

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Dirty jokes

Q:whats worst than getting a реnis drawn on your face
A:knowing it was traced

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Dirty jokes

Wife: Are you jerking off in the bathtub?
Me: I swear, hun, I was washing it and it just went off.

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Dirty jokes

Me: HOLY SНIТ I THINK I MIGHT BE PREGNANT!!!
Girlfriend: ... You're a dude dumbass
Me: i know but i didnt get my period this month!

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Dirty jokes

A Frenchman and an Italian were seated next to an Englishman on an overseas flight. After a few cocktails, the men began discussing their home lives.

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Dirty jokes Men jokes

I saw my sister take a whole cucumber up to her room.
I was shocked. The fат сunт is actually eating something healthy for once.

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Dirty jokes Fat Jokes

They should give this guy a test, you know, just to see how well the cure is going. Make him sit somewhere in a room with a guy in a lab coat:
'OK, would you say that salmon, mocha and champagne are foods or colors?'

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Food Jokes Dirty jokes

If God made anything better than рussy he kept it for himself.

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God Jokes Dirty jokes

My wife told me today that I'm gonna become a father for the very first time. The bad news is -- we already have two kids.

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News and Politics Jokes Kids Jokes Dirty jokes

When I say to a guy, 'Look, we've gotta talk,' what I really mean is, 'We've been together for months. I've now twisted my personality into an emotional pretzel to accommodate your every need. I want to know your idea of commitment versus my idea of commitment. Are we getting married? Are we having kids? Are we going to couples counseling? Where's this relationship going? I want to know.' When a guy says to me, 'Look, we've gotta talk,' what he means is, 'I want to have sеx with someone else, and will this interfere with me having sеx with you.'

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Marriage and Family Jokes Kids Jokes Dirty jokes Sex Jokes Relationship Jokes

Detective 1: It seems that the victim died of blunt force trauma.
Detective 2: My favorite kind of sеx.

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Dirty jokes Sex Jokes

Non-Alcoholic вееr is like going down on your cousin...
Sure it tastes the same, but it just ain't right!

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Dirty jokes Drinking and Drunk Jokes

Three steps to safely remove a woman’s вrа.
1. Cut straps with scissors, be careful as scissors can be sharp.
2. Never make comments about her niррlеs being weird.
3. If you’re in a supermarket make sure she isn’t carrying any glass bottles.

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Jokes about Women Dirty jokes

Did you know that your body is made 70% of water? And now I'm thirsty.

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Dirty jokes

Women reach their sеxuаl peak after 35 years. Men reach theirs after about four minutes.

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Jokes about Women Dirty jokes Men jokes

I saw the commercial for hеrреs medication. First of all, I know commercials are getting ridiculous, but the thing that tripped me out about this commercial was not how they made it look like your life get a whole lot better after hеrреs -- you can rock climb and jet ski and all that! -- they make it look like life begins with hеrреs.

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Dirty jokes

Waking up to a surprise bj is great but not when you’re in prison.

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Dirty jokes

Some people prefer their women young and tender; I prefer mine ten and younger.

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Jokes about Women Dirty jokes

I met a cute chick in the тамроn section on the way to the register, so I asked her if I could take her out in 5 to 7 days.

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Dirty jokes