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Disability Jokes

Newest jokes in this category

I saw a man walking down the street the other day with a guide dog and a dark glasses.
I said, “You’re blind then.”
He said, “Very funny. Tell me something I don’t know.”
I pointed and said, “Well, there’s a tree over there.”

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Men jokes Disability Jokes

When I’m bored I like to play a game with my deaf wife whilst she is hoovering.
I unplug it and time how long it takes her to notice.

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Disability Jokes

My brother was diagnosed as mute today.
He kept that one quiet.

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Disability Jokes

People think I’m sтuрid because I have a lisp.
I’m thick of it

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Disability Jokes

I attended my first Bi-polar support group meeting today.
Shortly after being welcomed to the group I was told to fuск off.

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Disability Jokes

I wanked over a blind girl yesterday.
She never saw me coming.

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Disability Jokes

Disabled Toilets.
Ironically the only toilets that look like they haven’t been used by a spastic.

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Disability Jokes

Did you hear about that museum in Ireland? They made an electrified, ‘Do Not Touch’ sign so blind people would get the message as well.

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Disability Jokes

A lady with a clipboard stopped me in the street the other day. She said, ‘Can you spare a few minutes for cancer research?’ I said, ‘All right, but we won’t get much done.

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Disability Jokes

Caught my dyslexic housemate putting shoe polish on his gеniтаls the other day. I later found out it happened after he read a newspaper article about the clocks going back.

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Disability Jokes

Got followed home by three blind people earlier today. That’s the last time I take my cat out for a walk

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Disability Jokes

In my spare time I like to help blind people… I’m great with a slingshot.

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Disability Jokes

All my of my 15 psychiatrists say that I have an addictive persolality.

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Disability Jokes

What are the only 2 electrical devices you should always leave on overnight? Fridges and life support machines, it would be a shame to waste all those vegetables.

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Disability Jokes

I walked into the library and asked, “Do you have any audio-books on how to carefully feed your pet рirаnhа fish?”
The assistant replied, “Does it have to be an audio-book?”
“Yes,” I said, showing her the stumps where my hands used to be.

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Disability Jokes

I don’t know what’s involved with training for these Paralympics but it looks fuскing dangerous. Lots of them have lost limbs.

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Disability Jokes

“Jump in and I’ll take you home,” I said to my dwarf neighbour, who was sat at the bus stop today.
“Рiss off!” he replied.
“Suit yourself then,” I said, as I zipped up my backpack and continued with my walk.

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Disability Jokes

Got a great book of Ebay “How To Improve Your memory”
But for the life of me I can not remember where I left the fuскing thing

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Disability Jokes

How do you confuse Stevie Wonder?
Glue a doorknob to the wall.

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Disability Jokes

“Mrs. Johnson, can Johnny come out and play baseball?” …
“Children, I have never heard such a crude and cruel remark. You know Johnny was a thalidomide baby and has no arms and no legs.” …
“We know, Mrs. Johnson. We just wanted to use him as second base!”

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Disability Jokes