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Disability Jokes

Newest jokes in this category

“Do not touch” must be one of the scariest things to read in Braille

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Disability Jokes

A мidgет goes into a chemist’s shop and says, “I want the biggest соndом you have.”
The chemist gets out the largest they do and the мidgет says, “That’s not big enough. What about the one outside?”
The chemist replies, “Well that’s only for advertising purposes and isn’t for sale.”
“Name your price,” said the мidgет.
So the chemist eventually sells him this large rubber prop for £50. The мidgет then stretches it all over his body until he’s completely covered.
“What do you think?” he asks.
The chemist looks embarrassed and says, “Well actually you look like a big рriск.”
“Thank fсuкing goodness for that,” said the мidgет. “I’m tired of being called little сunт!”

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Disability Jokes

If you’re feeling down, park in a handicap space and soon a bunch of strangers will tell you that there’s nothing wrong with you!

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Disability Jokes

Call it a hunch…
But I’m pretty sure I have an abnormal convex curvature of the upper spine.

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Disability Jokes

If you have a stutter, avoid using the word “ghost”.
Otherwise, people might think there is one behind them!

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Disability Jokes

I got fired from my last job for arranging the vegetables into sеxuаl positions.
Apparently that’s “immoral behavior” for a special needs teacher.

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Disability Jokes

Midgets; What they lack in body, they make up in forehead.

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Disability Jokes

I saw a bloke let his dog walk straight out in front of a lorry this morning.
The cruel сunт didn’t even flinch when it was killed. He was too busy standing round, trying to look cool in his sunglasses.

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Disability Jokes

What do you call a party with 25 midgets ?
A little get together.

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Disability Jokes

I was talking to a mate the other day who has a really bad lisp. He was telling me how he shagged a рrоsтiтuте and ended up with a “severe case of syphilis”.
I left the conversation thinking only one thing - if it can be transmitted through saliva then I’m fcuked.

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Disability Jokes

Watching the Paralympics recently made me wonder…
If this lot can run faster than I can, swim better than I can, lift heavier weights than I can then;
Why the fuск do they need to park closer to the shops than me?

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Disability Jokes

This morning I rang one of my mental patients for a laugh.
He’s convinced he’s a doorbell.

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Disability Jokes

My wife said we should get our twelve year old autistic son a fidget sрinnеr to keep him occupied.
I went one better, I showed him how to wаnк.

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Disability Jokes

A 14 year old boy has been fitted with a robot hand.
Brilliant.
That will save him having to sit on it until it feels like someone elses.

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Disability Jokes

Q. What caused the death of Captain Hook?
A. He accidentally use the wrong hand wiping his аss,

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Disability Jokes

A traffic warden tried to give me a ticket today for parking in a disabled space.
I said “Why don’t you go fuск yourself you c*nt, I’ve got Tourettes”.

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Disability Jokes

Just been diagnosed with diabetes. I’m beginning to have doubts about Dr Pepper’s medical qualifications.

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Disability Jokes

If laughter is the best medicine then does that mean it’s OK to laugh at people in wheelchairs?

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Disability Jokes

How do blind people know when they’re done wiping there аss?

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Disability Jokes

What’s the fastest thing in the sea?
Stevie Wonder’s Ferrari.

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Disability Jokes