Disability Jokes

Newest jokes in this category

If you’re feeling down, park in a handicap space and soon a bunch of strangers will tell you that there’s nothing wrong with you!

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Disability Jokes

Call it a hunch…
But I’m pretty sure I have an abnormal convex curvature of the upper spine.

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Disability Jokes

If you have a stutter, avoid using the word “ghost”.
Otherwise, people might think there is one behind them!

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Disability Jokes

I got fired from my last job for arranging the vegetables into sеxuаl positions.
Apparently that’s “immoral behavior” for a special needs teacher.

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Disability Jokes

Midgets; What they lack in body, they make up in forehead.

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Disability Jokes

I saw a bloke let his dog walk straight out in front of a lorry this morning.
The cruel сunт didn’t even flinch when it was killed. He was too busy standing round, trying to look cool in his sunglasses.

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Disability Jokes

What do you call a party with 25 midgets ?
A little get together.

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Disability Jokes

I was talking to a mate the other day who has a really bad lisp. He was telling me how he shagged a рrоsтiтuте and ended up with a “severe case of syphilis”.
I left the conversation thinking only one thing - if it can be transmitted through saliva then I’m fcuked.

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Disability Jokes

Watching the Paralympics recently made me wonder…
If this lot can run faster than I can, swim better than I can, lift heavier weights than I can then;
Why the fuск do they need to park closer to the shops than me?

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Disability Jokes

This morning I rang one of my mental patients for a laugh.
He’s convinced he’s a doorbell.

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Disability Jokes

My wife said we should get our twelve year old autistic son a fidget sрinnеr to keep him occupied.
I went one better, I showed him how to wаnк.

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Disability Jokes

A 14 year old boy has been fitted with a robot hand.
Brilliant.
That will save him having to sit on it until it feels like someone elses.

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Disability Jokes

Q. What caused the death of Captain Hook?
A. He accidentally use the wrong hand wiping his аss,

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Disability Jokes

A traffic warden tried to give me a ticket today for parking in a disabled space.
I said “Why don’t you go fuск yourself you c*nt, I’ve got Tourettes”.

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Disability Jokes

Just been diagnosed with diabetes. I’m beginning to have doubts about Dr Pepper’s medical qualifications.

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Disability Jokes

If laughter is the best medicine then does that mean it’s OK to laugh at people in wheelchairs?

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Disability Jokes

How do blind people know when they’re done wiping there аss?

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Disability Jokes

What’s the fastest thing in the sea?
Stevie Wonder’s Ferrari.

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Disability Jokes

Q. What’s the difference between Aids and cancer?
A. When you have cancer you get more visitors.

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Disability Jokes

Q. What did the dwarf say when he saw a рrоsтiтuте?
A. Hi hoe

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Disability Jokes