Disability Jokes

Newest jokes in this category

Once you get past a certain age “getting lucky” is the thing that happens when your remember where you put down your keys.

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Disability Jokes

Can’t believe how ungrateful my dwarf next door neighbor is. I saw him waiting at the bus stop earlier today and offered to give him a lift but he told me to “fuск off”. In the end I decided to just close my rucksack and walk away.

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Disability Jokes

Why do anorexics love KFC? Because it comes with a bucket.

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Disability Jokes

Whoever persuaded blind people they need to wear sunglasses must have been one hеll of a salesman.

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Disability Jokes

Just recently finished a jigsaw puzzle in only 5 months, the box said 2-4 years.

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Disability Jokes

I hate being bipolar, it’s amazing.

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Disability Jokes

I first met my wife at the London 2012 Special Olympics, it was a no brainier.

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Disability Jokes

The following conversation took place while a hemophiliac was shopping.
Shop Assistant: Can I help you sir?
Hemophiliac: No thanks, I’m just bruising.

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Disability Jokes

Have you heard about those new mobile phones for deaf people?
They’re called ‘eye-phones’.

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Disability Jokes

I first discovered I was dyslexic when I went to an Abba themed party dressed like an Arab.

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Disability Jokes

What did the guy with Leprosy say to the whоrе after they made love?
Keep the tip. (meaning the tip of his p*nis)

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Disability Jokes

My мidgет landlord told me that he wants me to leave my house by tommorow night. That‘s short notice.

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Disability Jokes

I joined a forum for people with down syndrome.
Comments are disabled.

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Disability Jokes

I was walking up the road when I noticed a street performer with no arms, dancing away without a care in the world.
I stopped to appreciate how really good he was doing considering his disability. I tapped him on the shoulder and said “mate, ur a really good dancer. He said.. “I ain’t fuскin dancin you сunт.. I’ve got a fuскin itch on the сrаск of my аrsе!”.

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Disability Jokes

Anyone here with one leg?
I have a ton of socks you can have

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Disability Jokes

How about this for an earth-shattering Dilemma?? ….
….
A sign in Braille that says, “Do Not Touch.” (?)

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Disability Jokes

Two pirates, Morty and Sol, meet  in a pub. Sol has a patch over one eye,  a hook for a hand, and a wooden peg leg. “Ye gads, matey,” says Morty. “What happened to ye?”
Sol says, “Me pirate ship was attacked, and a lucky shot lopped off me leg. So now I got me a wooden peg.”
“And yer hand?” asks Marty.
“When me ship sank, a shark bit me hand off. So now I got me a hook.”
“OK, but what’s with the eye patch?”
“I was standin’ on a dock, and the biggest seagull I ever saw poops right in me eye.”
“But ya don’t go blind from no seagull роор.”
“True,” says Sol. “But it was me first day with the hook.”

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Disability Jokes Pirate Jokes

Hearing aid for sale. Anyone interested,
Give me a shout.

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Disability Jokes

A telephone rang. “Hello! Is your phone number 444-4444?”
“Yes, it is,” came the reply.
“Thank Goodness! Could you call 911 for me? I super-glued my finger to the telephone keypad.”

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Disability Jokes

I went for that laser eye surgery today and it went really well until I came to pay the bill. When I asked why it was nearly £1000 per eye instead of the advertised £395, they simply said “Hidden charges, didn’t you see the small print?”

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Disability Jokes