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Fart Jokes

Newest jokes in this category
A skeleton made a bet, claiming he’s going to fаrт really loud in a crowded place. But he didn’t in the end. He just didn’t have the guts.
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Fart Jokes
What is the most nerve-wracking moment in the life of a man?
Attempting your first silent public fаrт after a longer period of diarrhea.
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Fart Jokes
What is the real reason women don’t fаrт loudly in public?
Because they don’t shut up long enough to build a decent pressure.
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Fart Jokes
That awkward moment when you fаrт in front of your crush.
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Fart Jokes
I farted at work today. They called in the plumbers to check for a leak in the sewage system.
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Fart Jokes
Mother’s advice: Stop whining. Look what the couch has to endure. It has to stand every fаrт, and silently.
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Fart Jokes
A man pulls up his car at a red light next to a woman in her car. He opens his windows and glances at the woman. The woman also opens the window and looks at him questioningly. The man smiles and says:
“Ah, you too? Gas is a вiтсh, isn’t it.”
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Fart Jokes
Rock-solid reliable pick up line:
"Wow, did you just fаrт? Because you totally blew me away."
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Fart Jokes
A teenage boy is invited for lunch at his girlfriend’s house.
Because he made some bad food choices earlier, he simply has to fаrт when they're all at the table.
The girlfriend's dad shouts at the large dog sitting under the boy’s chair: „Rex!”
Seeing that the father thought it was the dog, the boy is much relieved.
A minute later the boy has to fаrт again - and again audibly. The father snaps at the dog again:
“Rex!!”
The boy is relieved again that the father thought it was the dog.
Ten minutes later the boy farts again.
The father shouts:
“Rex, come here before that boy craps on your head.”
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Fart Jokes
Two flies are sitting on a piece of роор. One fly farts and the other fly cries, "Hey! I'm trying to eat here!"
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Fart Jokes
That awkward moment when you make a false excuse to go out of the room to fаrт, but when you come back in, you realize you carried the smell back with you.
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Fart Jokes
That awkward moment when your shoe makes the wrong sound on the floor and you know there’s no way to persuade anyone you haven’t just farted.
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Fart Jokes
That awkward moment when you fаrт in the supermarket’s dairy section and then somebody comes that very second, sniffing and admiring the complex maturity of the Limburger cheese.
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Fart Jokes
Don’t you hate it when you fаrт under your blanket, lift your foot to air it out but instead you unintentionally lift the other end of the blanket and get the full load in your face?
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Fart Jokes
Astronaut's last words: ОМG guys, who farted? I have to open the window.
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Space jokes Fart Jokes Last Word Jokes Good jokes
Confusios Ssay “man who sit in church and fаrт must sit in pew”
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Fart Jokes
Why was the fаrт on Kickstarter? He just needed some gas.
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Fart Jokes
An old woman goes to the doctor complaining of extremely smelly gas.
“I don’t understand it, Doc”, she said, “I have this terrible, terrible gas”. “Thankfully”, she added, “they are at least silent when I fаrт”.
Doctor hands her a bottle of pills, tells her take them all and then come back to see him.
The old woman returned a short time later extremely mad. “I took those pills like you said and not only is my gas smelly, but now when I fаrт they are obnoxiously loud!”, she yelled.
The doctor said, “well, now that we’ve solved your hearing problem, let’s see what we can do about that gas”.
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Отива един при лекаря. Една старица отива на лекар. Той я пита какъв е проблема и. Старата жена казва: Баба отива на лекар. Gassy Granny This little old lady goes to the doctor and says, "Doctor I have this problem with passing gas, but it really doesn’t bother me too much. A 90 year old women goes to the doctor. Dr i can't stop farting, sure they don't smell and make no noise but still i can't take it any more. Well take these pills every day and come back in a week.... Una vieja va al médico para atenderse: - Doctor, doctor, le cuento que sufro de muchos gases; pero por lo menos no huelen ni se escuchan. Vea, me acabo de tirar como quince y usted ni cuenta se dió. El doctor le recetó una medicina y le dijo que vuelva en una semana. La semana siguiente, la... Blähungen Kommt eine ältere Dame zum Arzt und sagt: "Sie, ich muss immer viele kleine Fürze lassen, aber das mach nichts, die stinken nicht und hören tut man sie auch nicht! Sehen Sie, seit ich hier bei Ihnen bin, habe ich bestimmt schon 10 mal gefurzt!" Da holt der Arzt eine Schachtel Tabletten hervor... “Dottore, ho un problema, faccio flatulenze di continuo, però non puzzano mai”,“Provi a farne una per farmi sentire”,Il paziente emette la sua flatulenza e il dottore esclama:,“Il suo problema è grave, bisogna operare con urgenza!”,“Dottore, al sedere?”,“No, al naso!” Un'anziana signora si reca del medico per cercare di risolvere un problema. "Dottore ho un problema di gas intestinali. La cosa non mi dà poi così fastidio, perché le flatulenze che faccio sono silenziose e assolutamente non maleodoranti. Però ecco un po' mi infastidisce; ad esempio, da quando... Um senhora bem velhinha vai ao médico e diz: — Doutor, eu tenho este problema com gases, mas realmente isso não me aborrece muito. Eles não cheiram e sempre são silenciosos. Vou lhe dar um exemplo.... Um velhinho foi ao médico e chegando lá, o médico pergunta: — Então, qual é o seu problema? — Bom, eu tem realmente um problema, mas não me incomoda muito. Vivo peidando aonde eu for. Vou dar um... En gammal man går till doktorn med en pinsam åkomma. – Jag släpper väder hela tiden. Det luktar inte och det låter ingenting, men det är väldigt obekvämt. Jag har faktiskt gjort det 20 gånger redan sedan jag kom in hit, berättar mannen. Läkaren tänker en stund och ger honom sedan ett recept. – Ta... Een klein oud vrouwtje gaat naar de dokter en zegt: "Dokter, ik heb een probleem met "scheetjes laten", het stoort mij eigenlijk niet, want mijn winden zijn altijd stil en ze ruiken niet. Eigenlijk...
Medical and Doctor Jokes Old People Jokes Fart Jokes
If a king farts, is it a noble gas?
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Fart Jokes
There once was 3 men on an airplane and one bit into an apple and said this is disgusting and threw it out the window the 2nd man bit into a banana and said this is rotten and he threw it out the window the 3rd man bit into a bomb and screamed " ALL MY TEETH FELL OUT" and he threw it out the window. Meanwhile, on the ground, a police officer was walking and he saw a kid crying and he went up to him and asked him why he was crying he replied an apple came flying out of the sky and hit me on the head! the police officer said that is weird and kept on walking. Then he saw another kid crying and the police officer asked why are you crying and he answered a banana came flying out of the sky and hit he on the head the officer said this has been a strange day. Then he says a kid laughing and he asked why he was laughing and he said while he was laughing my dad farted and the house blew up.
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