Food Jokes

Newest jokes in this category
A man walks into a bar and sits down. He asks the bartender, "Can I have a cigarette?" The bartender replies,
"Sure, the cigarette machine is over there." So he walks over to the machine and as he is about to order a cigarette, the machine suddenly says,
"Oi, you вlооdy idiот." The man says with surprise in his voice, "That's not very nice." He returns to his bar stool without a cigarette and asks the bartender for some peanuts. The bartender passes the man a bowl of peanuts and the man hears one of the peanuts speak, "Ooh, I like your hair." The man says to the bartender, "Hey, what's going on here? Your cigarette machine is insulting me and this peanut is coming on to me. Why's this?" The bartender replies,
"Oh, that's because the machine is out of order and the peanuts are complementary."
Insult Jokes Food Jokes Men jokes Double Meaning and Wordplay Jokes
Three men are all working on building a house. They go up to the roof for lunch, and unwrapped their sandwiches. The Brunette says "if I get one more Tuna sandwich, I'm going to jump off this roof and кill myself. The black haired one says "if I get one more pickle and lettuce sandwich, I, too, am going to jump off this roof and кill myself. The blonde looks at his sandwich and also declares, "if I get one more peanut butter and jelly sandwich, I'm going to jump off this roof and кill myself." The next day, they all get the same sandwiches and кill themselves. That night, their wives all meet up and mourn. "If I had known that my husband was going to кill himself over a sandwich, I wouldn't have given it to him." The brunette cries. "Same," the raven head replies. They both look at the blonde. "Don't look at me, he packed his own lunch!"
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