Food Jokes

Newest jokes in this category

Waiter:
"Do you want any dessert?"
Teddy Bear:
"No Thanks. I'm Stuffed!"

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Food Jokes Animal Jokes Double Meaning and Wordplay Jokes

Have you heard the story of the magic sandwich? Never mind, it's just a bunch of bologna.

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Marriage and Family Jokes Food Jokes Double Meaning and Wordplay Jokes

I went to a hot dog stand with my pet snake. I said," May I please have a hot dog for my snake?" The waitress replied, "I'm sorry, but we're all out of buns." I said,
"My anaconda don't want none unless you've got buns, hun!"

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Food Jokes Animal Jokes

How do you make an egg-roll?
You push it!!!

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Food Jokes

Did you hear the joke about the butter?
I do not think I should tell you because you might spread it around...

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Food Jokes

A disciple went to his master and said,
"I have served you faithfully for ten years. Now I have a wish: give me something to eat which will never end." His master said,
"Here, have some chewing gum."

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Food Jokes

I just bought a cured ham; I wonder what it had.

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Food Jokes Double Meaning and Wordplay Jokes

Yo momma is so sтuрid she ate her food stamps.

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Food Jokes Yo Momma Jokes

I told my wife I was going to make a bike out of spaghetti. She couldn't believe it when I rode pasta.

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Food Jokes Double Meaning and Wordplay Jokes

The employees at Taco Веll recently started wearing gloves when preparing the food. Ever wonder if their intentions are to protect their hands from the food they're serving?

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Food Jokes

What's a race car's favorite thing to eat for lunch?
Fast food!

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Food Jokes

What is crazy and walks along the sides of buildings?
A walnut.

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Food Jokes Double Meaning and Wordplay Jokes

I work at a local fast food joint. It cracks me up when a fат аss customer orders a quadruple stacked cheeseburger, with extra sauce, a ton of extras, extra large fries with extra sauce, and then orders a small diet coke.

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Office and Work Jokes Food Jokes Fat Jokes

Three men are all working on building a house. They go up to the roof for lunch, and unwrapped their sandwiches. The Brunette says "if I get one more Tuna sandwich, I'm going to jump off this roof and кill myself. The black haired one says "if I get one more pickle and lettuce sandwich, I, too, am going to jump off this roof and кill myself. The blonde looks at his sandwich and also declares, "if I get one more peanut butter and jelly sandwich, I'm going to jump off this roof and кill myself." The next day, they all get the same sandwiches and кill themselves. That night, their wives all meet up and mourn. "If I had known that my husband was going to кill himself over a sandwich, I wouldn't have given it to him." The brunette cries. "Same," the raven head replies. They both look at the blonde. "Don't look at me, he packed his own lunch!"

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Food Jokes Blonde Jokes

Why did was the Mexican fast food vendor arrested?
He was planning a tacover.

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Food Jokes Double Meaning and Wordplay Jokes

One fine day, a priest, a rabbi, and a high priestess decide to all go fishing. They manage to get to the water, and off they go. One hour later, the high priestess says,
"I think I forgot the food!" She steps off the boat, walks across the water, gets the picnic basket, and walks back! As they are eating, the priest thinks, "What a display. Jeez, where does she get off walkin' on the water?" Right then, the rabbi says,
"Oye! I forgot the drinks." He steps right off the boat, and walks across the water to get the drinks. By this time, the priest is very frustrated! He excuses himself, and as the priest steps out of the boat, he falls in the water. The high priestess turns to the rabbi and says,
"You think we should have told him about the rocks?"

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Religion jokes Food Jokes

An English teacher told his students that when pronouncing a word beginning with the letter "H" they should ignore the "H" as in hour, honor, and honest. That day when leaving for class, he left a note for his assistant, "Please heat my rice for me." When the teacher returned to his office, he met an empty bowl. He asked the assistant, "Where is my food?" The assistant replied, "You said I should heat the rice for you, but you also instructed us to ignored the 'H.'"

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Office and Work Jokes School Jokes Food Jokes

Husband:
"Hey honey, I'm just going to go to the shops, be back in 30."
Wife:
"Ok, could you get me some... wait. Did you say 30? 30 years ago Micheal Jackson released the album Thriller. Thriller was a hit. You hit a baseball. Baseballs are white. The white crayon never gets used. A crayon is 3.5 inches. There are 12 inches in a foot. A foot has 5 toes, so both feet have a total of 10. Ten rhymes with hen. Hens lay eggs. Eggs are food. Food pyramid. Fruits are on the food pyramid. You like girls that smell fruity. Oh my god. YOU'RE CHEATING ON ME!"

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God Jokes Food Jokes

Q. what did the nacho say to the taco?
A. I"m nacho friend

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Food Jokes

What happened when the Zucchini played baseball?
It got pickled

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Food Jokes