Harry Potter Jokes

Newest jokes in this category

What do you call a house-elf in a hotel?
A Dobby in a lobby.

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Harry Potter Jokes Hotel Jokes

Hermione got attacked by a troll in the bathroom.
Ginny got abducted in the bathroom. Moaning Myrtle got killed in the bathroom. Moral of the story? Don’t go to the bathroom alone!

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Harry Potter Jokes

Top 10 Worst Harry Potter Characters
10. There aren’t
9. Any characters
8. In the Harry Potter series
7. That deserve to be labeled
6. As the worst
5. Because all the characters
4. Have their own
3. Characteristics
2. Which make them unique and interesting
1. Dolores Umbridge

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Harry Potter Jokes

Hermione: “You’re a great wizard, you really are!”
Harry: “Not as good as you.” Hermione: “I said ‘wizard,’ not ‘witch.'”

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Harry Potter Jokes

I named my lizard Harry just so I can say, “You’re a lizard, Harry!”

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Harry Potter Jokes

What did Ron say when he kissed Hermione?
Your parents may be muggles, but that kiss was magical!

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Harry Potter Jokes

What do you call a Hufflepuff with one brain cell? Gifted.
What do you call a Hufflepuff with two brain cells? Pregnant.

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Harry Potter Jokes

Snape: “VOLDEMORT’S COMING!”
Dumbledore: “Are you serious?” Snape: “No, I’m Severus.”

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Harry Potter Jokes

On a scale from one to ten, how much do you love Hogwarts? Nine and three quarters.

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Harry Potter Jokes

What does a wizard say when he gets robbed by a muggle? Somebody muggled me!

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Harry Potter Jokes

What social media channel does Voldemort use? Instagram, because he wants more followers!

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Harry Potter Jokes

What did The Dark Lord envy from Harry? His nose!

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Harry Potter Jokes

What would Harry Potter be if he didn’t when to Hogwarts? A python programmer.

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Harry Potter Jokes Programmer Jokes

What program do you use to edit your photos? A Dobby Photoshop.

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Harry Potter Jokes

You take my breath away! – said Harry to the dementors.

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Harry Potter Jokes

Harry: The Dark Lord has risen again! Dumbledore: Are you Sirius? Harry: No, I’m Harry!

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Harry Potter Jokes

Why did Neville always sit on two chairs? Because he is a Longbottom.

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Harry Potter Jokes

Why didn’t Draco become friends with Harry? Because he was running out of breath while saying Harry’s last name.

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Harry Potter Jokes

Why did Harry sign up for the gym? Because he loved the dumbbell doors.

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Harry Potter Jokes Fitness jokes

Are you twins in real life? No. It's quite a weird story. We met at the audition.

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Harry Potter Jokes