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Insult Jokes

Newest jokes in this category
Q: What's another name for undercover cops?
A: Pigs-in-a-blanket.
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Insult Jokes
If my pants aren't at my ankles, don't open your mouth!
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Insult Jokes
A woman goes to the doctor for a check-up. When she gets home, her husband asks her how it went. She replies, "He said I have the body of a twenty-year-old.
Her husband says, "What did he have to say about your forty-year-old аss?" She replies, "Your name didn't come up."
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Insult Jokes
Above the urinаl, written on the wall:
Why are you looking up here? The joke is in your hand!
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Insult Jokes
Q: What's the difference between a соw's tail and a man's tie?
A: The соw's tail hides the entire a**hole.
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Insult Jokes
Q: What is the difference between a brunette and garbage?
A: At least the garbage gets taken out once a week.
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Insult Jokes
What do you call the space between a woman's вrеаsтs and her vаginа?
A waste.
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Celebrity and Pop Culture Jokes Insult Jokes
A woman wakes up one morning and open the blinds. Her husband, half-awake, says, "Close those blinds, those little boys over the road can see my nакеd body."
The woman replies, "If those little boys saw your nакеd body, they'd close their blinds."
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Insult Jokes
Why was the washing machine laughing?
Because it was taking the рiss out of the pants.
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Insult Jokes
What do women and washing machines have in common?
They both leak when they're fuскеd!
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Insult Jokes
Two blondes drive through the middle of Kansas, surrounded entirely by wheat fields.
One blonde riding shotgun says,
"Look over there!"
They see another blonde in scuba gear who is acting like she's swimming through the wheat. The blonde driving says,
"It's girls like that who give us blondes a bad name. "
The other blonde says,
"Yeah! And if I knew how to swim, I'd go out there and tell her off."
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Insult Jokes Blonde Jokes
- They don't listen.
- They don't come in when you call.
- They like to stay out all night.
- Only when you are trying to get things done do they want your attention.
- Mostly, they like to be left alone to sleep.
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Insult Jokes
Q: Why did God create man before woman?
A: He needed a rough draft before he made a final copy.
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Primero el hombre y despues la mujer ¿Por qué Dios creó primero al hombre que a la mujer? Porque la cosas primero se hacen en borrador, y después en limpio. "Klar hat Gott den Mann vor der Frau erfunden, jeder Künstler macht doch einen Rohentwurf, bevor er das eigentlich Kunstwerk schafft!" Pourquoi dieu a t-il crée l'homme avant la femme? il lui fallait bien un brouillon! Sabe porque deus fez primeiro o homem do que a mulher? Por que antes de se fazer uma obra prima, se faz um rascunho.
Insult Jokes
Q: What do rocks and women have in common?
A: Men skip them when they're flat.
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Insult Jokes
Why don't women need driver's licenses?
Because there are no roads between the laundry room and the kitchen!
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Insult Jokes
Q: Why do only 40% of men go to Heaven?
A: If they all went, it would be hеll.
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Insult Jokes
A man with greasy jeans, a flannel shirt, and work boots approaches the headwaiter in an elegant restaurant.
The man says, "Hey buddy, where's your crapper?"
The headwaiter calmly replies, "Go down the hall and turn left. When you see the sign marked 'Gentlemen,' pay absolutely no attention to it and go right inside."
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Office and Work Jokes Insult Jokes Blue Collar Jokes Men jokes Restaurant Jokes
What's the difference between a porcupine and a Ferrarri?
Porcupines have рriскs on the outside...
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Car and driving jokes Insult Jokes Animal Jokes Lawyer Jokes
A man asks a farmer near the field, "Sorry sir, would you mind if I crossed your field instead of going around it? You see, I have to catch the 4:30 PM train."
The farmer says, "Sure, go right ahead. And if my bull sees you, you'll even catch the 4 PM one."
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Забързан човек спира пред някакъв говедар в полето: Um homem pergunta para um fazendeiro perto de um grande campo gramado: - Senhor, você se importaria se eu cortasse caminho pelo seu campo para chegar na estação de trem mais rápido? Eu já estou atrasado e tenho que pegar o trem das 16:25. O fazendeiro responde: - Pode sim, claro! E se meu touro... Idzie turysta drogą spotyka Bacę i pyta się: - Baco, mogę przejść przez waszą łąkę bo chcę zdążyć na pociąg o 10:40. - A idźcie, a jak spotkacie mojego byka to i na ten o 9:15 zdążycie... En man som är sen till tåget tänker gena över en bondes hage, men stannar för att fråga bonden som håller på att laga stänget runt hagen: - Hinner jag med 5-tåget om jag genar över fältet? - Ja,... Een boer is op zijn grond bezig als ineens een man hem aanspreekt “Mag ik over uw land lopen, dan kan ik de trein van kwart over 12 nog halen” “Geen probleem” zegt de boer “als de stier je ziet... V Arizoně se ptá kovboj starého rančera: „Prosím vás, když půjdu přes váš pozemek, stihnu vlak ve 14:30?” „Samozřejmě,” ujistí ho starý Arizoňan, „a když potkáte mé býky, stihnete i ten ve 14:00!”
Insult Jokes Animal Jokes Men jokes Travel and Tourist Jokes Good jokes
yo mama so sтuрid she put her head in a mailbox and talked we asked her whats she was doing she said shes sending a voicemail
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Insult Jokes Yo Momma Jokes
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