Halloween Jokes

Newest jokes in this category

(Husband) Honey, at this year’s office Halloween party why don’t I wear a superman costume you can go as a witch?
(Wife) How clever!
(Husband) What do you mean?
(Wife) It’s a polar opposite theme right?

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Office and Work Jokes Marriage and Family Jokes Halloween Jokes

Halloween. The door веll rings and a man answers it. Here stands this plain but well dressed kid, saying, "Trick or Treat!"
The man asks the kid what he is dressed up as. The kid replies,
"I'm an IRS agent."
Then he takes 40 percent of the man's candy, leaves, and doesn't say thank you.

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Kids Jokes Men jokes Halloween Jokes

Chuck Norris once high-fived a kid on Halloween. The kid's name was Neil Armstrong. He landed on the moon.

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Kids Jokes Chuck Norris Jokes Halloween Jokes

I went into a fancy dress shop and asked the woman working there if they had any ghost costumes.
She said “We don’t sell those, I’m afraid.”
Stupid соw. They’re not that scary.

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Jokes about Women Office and Work Jokes Halloween Jokes

For Halloween I’m going to wear a pacman suit and chase Muslim women in burkas around the town centre.

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Jokes about Women Halloween Jokes

Thought of the day: Just think about how slutty girls would dress if Halloween was in July.

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Halloween Jokes

Instead of yelling boo this Halloween, yell something scarier like 'commitment!' or 'college tuition!'

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Halloween Jokes

I won first prize at the Halloween party for best costume which was male genitalia.
I never even entered. I just went to pick my wife up and forgot to take off my bluetooth headset.

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Men jokes Halloween Jokes

You so ugly on Halloween someone said scary costume.

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Halloween Jokes

I remember when Halloween was the scariest night of the year. Now, it's Election night.

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Halloween Jokes

Dear Girls : No Need To Do Anything For Halloween … Just Remove The Makeup And Go To The Party

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Halloween Jokes

I think this year for Halloween I’m going to go out as a blessing in disguise

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Halloween Jokes

Dracula walks into a bar…
The bartender asks, “What’ll you have?”
Dracula answers, “I will have a glass of boiling hot water.”
The bartender nods and prepares his drink. After serving it, the barkeep says, “Anything for you sir, but I am perplexed, I thought your kind drank blood.”
Dracula retorts, “Oh, we do,” and takes a used тамроn out of his pocket. Holding it by the string, and dipping it up and down he says, “I’m having hot tea.”

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Halloween Jokes

I’ve just found out my ex girlfriend is having a Titanic themed fancy dress Halloween party.
I’m not invited so I’m going to go as an Iceberg and crash the party.

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Halloween Jokes

The landlord at my local pub announced there’s going to be a hefty cash prize for this years best costume for Halloween.
Last year my wife won it and she only fuскing came to pick me up.

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Halloween Jokes

I'm dressing like a Dodger this Halloween. I'm going as a loser!

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Sports Jokes Halloween Jokes

I don’t think we will be calling any evil spirits to make their presence known this year on our annual Halloween get together.
Last year we were all sitting around the table when I said,
“Evil spirit, give us some kind of sign that you are among us this dark evening!”
That was when my fсuкing wife walked into the room!

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Halloween Jokes

What do sea monsters eat for lunch? Fish and ships.

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Halloween Jokes

Just got a knock at the door. Thought it was trick-or-treat.
The bloke at the door said “Do you believe in free speech?”
I said “Of course.”
He said “Can I use your phone?”

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Halloween Jokes

This year I’m going to a Halloween party in liverpool dressed as a job application form.
That should scare the shiт out of everyone.

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Halloween Jokes