Kids jokes, Toddler Jokes, Children jokes

A teacher shows Little Johnny a butterfly and asks, “Well, Johnny, what do we call this butterfly?”
Little Johnny says, “That’s a peacock butterfly.”
“Come on, Johnny, peacock butterflies aren’t green!”
“Well maybe this one isn’t ripe yet?”

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What are theSnake’s last words?
"Oh drat, I bit my tongue!"

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Kids Jokes

How does a YouTube star stay cool?
By keeping close to his fans.

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Kids Jokes

Little Kevin rides his bike and yells at his mummy, “Look mom, I can ride the bike with just one hand!”
He goes by the second time and yells excitedly, “Mom, mom, look no hands at all!”
He comes the third time and proudly hollers, “Look mom, no teeth, either!”

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Kids Jokes

Fiona asks her daddy, “Dad, can you write with your eyes closed?”
“I believe I could, child, if I tried.”
“Excellent, do you think you would like to try it on my school report?”

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School Jokes Kids Jokes

What's always taken before you can get it?
Your picture.

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Kids Jokes

A guy is stopped by traffic police. The police officer asks him to open his trunk – and sees 2 penguins sitting inside. The officer is shocked and says to the guy, “Sir, you’ve got to takes those two to the Zoo right away!” The guy agrees and leaves.
The next day – same place, same police officer – he is stopped again. The officer again asks him to open his trunk, and to his confusion, there are the two penguins sitting again, today with swimming hats on their heads. The officer says, “I told you yesterday that you have to take them to the Zoo, didn’t I?!”
“And I did take them to the Zoo, just like you said. And today we’re going swimming.”

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Kids Jokes

A little boy wants a bike for Christmas really badly, but the kid is a real bad seed, and he knows it. He writes a letter to Jesus. "Dear Jesus, if I get a bike for Christmas, I'll be good for a whole week." He thinks about it, crosses out what he wrote, and says,
"I can't be good for a whole week, I'll be good for five days." He crosses that out and writes, "I'll be good for four days." Then he thinks again and says,
"Can't do that." He gets down to one day and says,
"I can't even be good for a day." Then in frustration, goes in his mother's room and get the statue of the Virgin Mary, wraps it up in a blanket, puts it in a paper bag, throws it in the closet and says,
"Dear Jesus, if I don't get a bike for Christmas, you'll never see your mother again!"

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Religion jokes Kids Jokes Christmas Jokes

One day the school principal was talking to Little Johnny's teacher about his behavior, when all of a sudden Johnny comes running down the hallway. The principal stops Johnny and asks him, why are you running? Little Johnny says; I’m keeping two kids from fighting, sir. Who? ask the principal. Me and the kid chasing me; and off he went.

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School Jokes Little Johnny Jokes Kids Jokes

Teacher: Why are there rings on Saturn?
Kid: Because God liked it, so he put a ring on it.
Teacher: Saturn was not a single lady.

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School Jokes Kids Jokes Insult Jokes God Jokes Single People Jokes

I bet nerdy kids in math call their friends Algebros.

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Kids Jokes One-Liner Jokes Friendship Jokes Math Jokes

I had plenty of pimples as a kid. One day I fell asleep in the library. When I woke up, a blind man was reading my face.

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Kids Jokes Men jokes Disability Jokes

Little Johnny’s teacher was asking all the kids in the class what their parents did for a living.
Little Mary got up and said, “my Dad is a pilot, and my Mommy is an architect.”
“Great” said the teacher.
Michael got up and said, “my Dad is a Doctor, and my Mom is a housewife.” Good said the teacher.
Johnny was last in the class and when he got up he said:
“My Mommy, she is a substitute.”
Knowing better about his background and always striving to correct the kids, the teacher said, “you mean she is a Рrоsтiтuте?”
“No”. Said Johnny, “my Sister, she is the Рrоsтiтuте, but when she does not feel well, my Mommy substitutes.”

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School Jokes Little Johnny Jokes Kids Jokes Medical and Doctor Jokes Pilot Jokes Aviation Jokes Dad Jokes

As a dentist, I recently tried out a new chocolate-flavored pumice paste on my patients. No one liked it except for a six-year-old boy. While I polished his teeth, he continued to smile and liск his lips. "You must really like this new flavor," I said.
"Yep," he replied, nodding with satisfaction. "It tastes just like the time I dropped my candy bar in the sandbox."

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Kids Jokes Dentist Jokes Chocolate Jokes

Back when I was a kid, there was no internet,
So people would sometimes have to walk for miles just to call me a сunт.

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Kids Jokes Internet Jokes Sarcasm Jokes

Kid 1:I befriended taylor swift on facebook
Kid 2:shiт now she will write a song about that

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Celebrity and Pop Culture Jokes Kids Jokes Facebook Jokes

Just decided to run a marathon for charity. At first I didn’t want to do it but apparently it’s for blind and disabled kids so I think I’ve got a good chance of winning.

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Kids Jokes Disability Jokes

What do Muslims call any sixteen-year-old kid with an I. Q. over 80?
A smart bomb.

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Kids Jokes Criminal Jokes

Mother asks little Johnny, as they wait for the bus, to tell the driver he is 4 years old when asked because he will ride for free. As they get into the bus the driver asks Johnny how old he was. "I am 4 years old".
"And when will you be six years old?" asks the driver. “When I get off the bus" answers Johnny.

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Little Johnny Jokes Kids Jokes

I'm dressing as a democrat this Halloween. I'm going to take half of all the kids candy and give it to the kids who were too lazy to go trick-r-treating.

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Kids Jokes Halloween Jokes