Kids Jokes

Newest jokes in this category

How does a school differ from an insane asylum?
Different phone numbers.

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Kids Jokes School Jokes

Antonia buys 5 chocolate bars. Her friend Julie asks her for 2 of them. How many chocolate bars does Antonia end up with?
Answer: Five. Antonia is quite a greedy girl.

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Kids Jokes

What is every pirate’s favorite letter?
(Everyone answers Arrr)
Yeah, you’d think it’s R, but it’s really C!

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Kids Jokes Pirate Jokes

Two neighbors are chatting and one says, “You know, Jim, you have such a teeny, tiny dog. Why the heck do you have a sign saying ‘Beware of the dog’?”
Jim says, “Basically I don’t want anybody to stumble over him.”

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Kids Jokes

An ant saw an elephant running towards him. He was afraid that the elephant would step on him. What did the ant do?
He quickly hid behind a tree, waited and then tripped the elephant up.

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Kids Jokes

Doctor:
“Can you describe the snake that bit you?”
Patient:
“Yes. It looked like an angry rope.

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Kids Jokes

“One egg asks another egg:
“Why are you so hairy?”
“’Cause I’m a kiwi.”

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Kids Jokes

A lady walks into a shop in a mall and addresses the shop assistant, “Hi. I really need a stronger pair of glasses.”
“Oh yeah you do,” says the shop assistant, “this is a bakery.”

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Kids Jokes

Three doves are sitting in a tree.
Suddenly they spot an airplane in the distance. One nudges the other:
- ”Look at that! That is fast!”
The other looks at him:
“You’d be too I if your вuтт was on fire.“

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Kids Jokes Aviation Jokes

What can smell without a nose?
A fаrт.

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Kids Jokes

Teacher: Marvin, please go outside the door and stay there.
Marvin: Why?
Teacher: Because your jabbering is very disruptive and nobody wants to listen to it.
Marvin: Then perhaps you should come along with me.

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Kids Jokes School Jokes

Teacher:
"Patrick, you are an hour and a half late for school. What in the world?!"
Student:
"Sorry sir, I had to say bye to all my pets."
Teacher:
"An hour and a half?!"
Student:
"Well it is quite a big ant farm…"

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Kids Jokes School Jokes

What begins with a T, ends with a T and even has T inside it?
A TeapoT.

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Kids Jokes

“Mummy, could you give me two dollars for this old man on the street?”
“Oh darling, of course, you’re so nice to think of other people. Where is he?”
“There on the corner, selling ice cream for two dollars.”

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Kids Jokes

A ten-year-old boy comes to his mom and asks her for a snack.
“Sure thing, darling, but first, what’s the magic word?”
“Wow,” the boy shakes his head, “they really put a password on everything these days!”

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Kids Jokes

Lisa ask Peter, "What are you eating? Are those apple pips?"
Peter replies,
"Yes! And you know what? These are very special ones, they give you knowledge and wisdom."
Lisa asks, "Oh wow, can I have some please?"
Peter answers, "Sure, but it’s 2.50, remember, they’re special."
Lisa agrees, eats the pips and says,
"Hey, I can’t say that I feel any special knowledge or wisdom!"
Peter smiles, "Really? But now you know that pips are really just pips and next time, you will be wise enough not to fall for a sтuрid trick like this."

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Kids Jokes

Little Kenny is about to have a big test and his father says:
“You better study real good boy, ‘cause if you don’t pass that test, you can forget that you’re my son!”
The next day Kenny comes home and his dad asks him how he did in the test.
Kenny looks at him and says, “And who are you, dude?”

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Kids Jokes

"I’m still not sure whether to buy this house. It’s really nice and everything, but I heard it’s haunted."
-
"Pishposh. I’ve never seen any ghosts here, and I’ve lived in the neighborhood for 500 years!"

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Kids Jokes

A bunny is hopping across the forest and sees a huge pile of роор. The bunny cautiously approaches, puts its finger in it, sniffs, licks lightly and says, “Aha! That’s dog роор. Lucky I didn’t step in it.”

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Kids Jokes Dog jokes

Little Johnny, why on Earth did you cover your pillow with honey?!
I wanted to have sweet dreams.

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Kids Jokes