Monday jokes

Newest jokes in this category
Мотивация в понеделник сутрин: 0,01% Мотивација во понеделник наутро: 0,01% Motivación del lunes por la mañana: 0,01% Мотивация в понедельник утром: 0,01% Motivation am Montagmorgen: 0,01% Motivation du lundi matin : 0,01% Κίνητρο το πρωί της Δευτέρας: 0,01% Motivazione del lunedì mattina: 0,01% Pazartesi sabahı motivasyonu: %0,01 Мотивація вранці в понеділок: 0,01% Motivação de segunda-feira de manhã: 0,01% Motywacja w poniedziałek rano: 0,01% Måndagsmorgonens motivation: 0,01% Motivatie op maandagochtend: 0,01% Motivation mandag morgen: 0,01% Motivasjon mandag morgen: 0,01% Maanantaiaamun motivaatio: 0,01 % Hétfő reggeli motiváció: 0,01% Motivația de luni dimineață: 0,01% Motivace v pondělí ráno: 0,01% Pirmadienio ryto motyvacija: 0,01% Pirmdienas rīta motivācija: 0,01% Motivacija u ponedjeljak ujutro: 0,01%
Monday morning motivation: 0.01%
Monday jokes Cat jokes
Шефът забрани да работим с къси панталони... Интересно ми е как ще ме погледне в понеделник... Шефот забрани да работиме во кратки панталони... Баш ме интересира како ќе ме гледа в понеделник... El jefe prohibió trabajar con pantalones cortos... A ver qué cara pone el lunes... Algo es algo Начальник запретил работать в шортах... Интересно, какое у него будет лицо в понедельник... Всё-таки хоть что-то Der Chef hat verboten, in kurzen Hosen zu arbeiten... Bin gespannt auf seinen Blick am Montag... Immerhin Le patron a interdit de travailler en short... J'ai hâte de voir sa tête lundi... C'est déjà ça Το αφεντικό απαγόρευσε να δουλεύουμε με σορτς... Ανυπομονώ να δω το βλέμμα του τη Δευτέρα... Κάτι είναι κι αυτό Il capo ha vietato di lavorare in pantaloncini... Sono curioso di vedere la sua faccia lunedì... Beh, qualcosa Patron şortla çalışmayı yasakladı... Pazartesi yüz ifadesini merak ediyorum... Yine de bir şeydir Шеф заборонив працювати в шортах... Цікаво подивитися на його погляд у понеділок... Хоч щось O chefe proibiu trabalhar de bermuda... Tô curioso pra ver a cara dele na segunda... Já é alguma coisa Szef zabronił pracować w krótkich spodenkach... Ciekaw jestem jego miny w poniedziałek... Zawsze coś Chefen har förbjudit att jobba i shorts... Ska bli kul att se hans min på måndag... Alltid något De baas heeft verboden om in korte broek te werken... Ben benieuwd naar z'n blik op maandag... Altijd iets Chefen har forbudt at arbejde i shorts... Glæder mig til at se hans blik på mandag... Det er da noget Sjefen har forbudt å jobbe i shorts... Blir spennende å se blikket hans på mandag... Det er da noe Pomo kielsi työskentelyn shortseissa... Odotan innolla ilmettä maanantaina... No, sentään jotain A főnök megtiltotta, hogy rövidnadrágban dolgozzunk... Kíváncsi vagyok, milyen fejet vág hétfőn... Valami azért Șeful a interzis să lucrăm în pantaloni scurți... Sunt curios ce față va face luni... Tot e ceva Šéf zakázal pracovat v kraťasech... Jsem zvědavý na jeho výraz v pondělí... Aspoň něco Viršininkas uždraudė dirbti su šortais... Įdomu, kokį veidą darys pirmadienį... Vis šis tas Priekšnieks aizliedza strādāt šortos... Ziņkārīgi, kā viņš skatīsies pirmdien... Nu, kaut kas jau ir Šef je zabranio raditi u kratkim hlačama... Baš me zanima kakav će mu biti pogled u ponedjeljak... Ipak nešto
The boss banned working in shorts... Curious to see his face on Monday... Still counts
Monday jokes Boss Jokes
Introductory Chemistry at Duke has been taught for about a zillion years by Professor Воnк (really), and his course is semi-affectionately known as "Bonkistry". He has been around forever, so I wouldn't put it past him to come up with something like this.
Anyway, one year there were these two guys who were taking Chemistry and who did pretty well on all of the quizzes and the mid-terms and labs, etc., such that going into the final they had a solid A. These friends were so confident going into the final that the weekend before finals week (even though the Chem final was on Monday), they decided to go up to U Virginia and party with some friends up there.
They did this and had a great time. However, with their hangovers and everything, they overslept all day Sunday and didn't make it back to Duke until early Monday morning. Rather than taking the final then, they found Professor Воnк after the final and explained to him why they missed the final. They told him that they went up to UVA for the weekend, and had planned to come back in time to study, but that they had a flat tire on the way back and didn't have a spare and couldn't get help for a long time and so were late getting back to campus.
Bonk thought this over and then agreed that they could make up the final on the following day. The two guys were elated, relieved and very proud of their story. So, they studied that night and went in the next day at the time Воnк had told them. He placed them in separate rooms and handed each of them a test booklet and told them to begin.
They looked at the first problem, which was something simple about molarity and solutions and was worth 5 points. "Cool," they thought, "this is going to be easy." They did that problem and turned the page. They were unprepared, however, for what they saw on the next page...
WHICH TIRE? (95 points)
School Jokes Friendship Jokes Monday jokes
Как може да накараш една блондинка да се смее понеделник сутрин? Πώς μπορείς να κάνεις μια ξανθιά να γελάσει.. Comment faire rire une blonde le lundi matin ? Racontez lui une blague le vendredi soir. Wie kann man eine Blondine montagmorgens zum Lachen bringen? - Freitagabends einen Witz erzählen. wie bekommt man montag eine blondine zum lachen indem man ihr freitags einen witz erzählt.
Men vs Women Jokes Blonde Jokes One-Liner Jokes Easter Jokes Monday jokes Friday jokes
One night in the bar, the owner is lamenting the fact that business is so quiet on Mondays, Tuesdays and Wednesdays.As he moans to some of the regulars a stranger, dressed in a tweed jacket and wearing glasses wanders over and says, "I'm sorry, but I couldn't help overhearing your conversation. I'm a doctor at the lunatic asylum up the road and I'm trying to integrate some of the more sane individuals into the community. Why don't I bring some of my patients along, say next Tuesday. You'll have some customers and my patients will have a night out."Well, the publican isn't sure but the thought of more paying customers on a quiet night appeals, so he agrees.So, the following Tuesday the guy in the tweed jacket and glasses shows up with about ten lunatics.He says to the publican, "They might try to pay for their drinks in unusual ways, please just accept whatever they give you, put it all on a tab and I'll settle up at closing time."The barman has a great time selling loads of drinks and encouraging the loonies to eat сhiрs and peanuts. The loonies have a great time, getting drunк and paying for their drinks with empty Coke cans, banana peels, used tea bags and plastic shopping bags.At closing time the barman adds up the bill and it comes to just over two hundred dollars! The guy with the glasses and the tweed jacket starts to organize the loonies ready to take them back to the asylum. Finally he comes over and asks for the bill. The publican, feeling that he's charged them rather a lot and feeling he should do his bit to help these poor unfortunate people gives him a discount."Let's call It $150," he says.The guy in the tweed jacket smiles and says, "That's fine. Have you got change for a garbage can?"
Monday jokes Medical and Doctor Jokes