Morbid jokes

Newest jokes in this category

An apple a day keeps the doctor away. Or at least it does if you throw it hard enough.

1 0

Morbid jokes

Why is it that if you donate a kidney, people love you. But if you donate five kidneys, they call the police.

1 0

Morbid jokes

My senior relatives liked to tease me at weddings, saying things like, “You’ll be next!” They stopped once I started doing the same to them at funerals.

1 0

Morbid jokes

Happy 60th birthday. At last, you can live undisturbed by life insurance agents!

1 0

Morbid jokes Insurance Comedy

Imagine if you walked into a bar and there was a long line of people waiting to hit you. That's the punch line.

1 0

Morbid jokes

The cemetery is so crowded. People are just dying to get in.

1 0

Morbid jokes

I was drinking a martini and the waitress screamed “does anyone know CPR?” I yelled, “I know the entire alphabet” and we all laughed and laughed. Well, except one person.

1 0

Morbid jokes

I know a fish that can breakdance! Only for 20 seconds though, and only once.

1 0

Morbid jokes

Why don’t skeletons ever go trick or treating? Because they have no body to go with.

1 0

Morbid jokes

Today on a drive, I decided to go visit my childhood home. I asked the people living there if I could come inside because I was feeling nostalgic, but they refused and slammed the door in my face. My parents are the worst.

1 0

Morbid jokes

People with Covid have no taste!

1 0

Morbid jokes

My girlfriend wanted a marriage just like a fairy tale. Fair enough. I gave her a loaf of bread and left her in the forest.

1 0

Morbid jokes

I heard Sony is coming out with a new video game console to help us get through the pandemic. It's called the Plaguestation 5.

1 0

Morbid jokes

I’ve stopped making jokes about Covid to my brother. They flu over his head.

1 0

Morbid jokes

I got a job at a library, but it only lasted 15 minutes. Turns out, books about women’s rights shouldn’t go in the Sci-Fi / Fantasy section.

1 0

Morbid jokes

My daughter asked me how stars die. ""Usually an overdose,"" I told her.

1 0

Morbid jokes

What do you call it when every one of your friends makes too many dumb Covid jokes? A pundemic.

1 0

Morbid jokes

Why is there air conditioning in hospitals? To keep the vegetables cool and fresh.

1 0

Morbid jokes

Since the pandemic started, my husband just stands there sadly looking through the window. I should probably go let him inside.

1 0

Morbid jokes

After my wife died, I couldn't even look at another woman for 10 years.
But now that I'm out of jail, I can honestly say it was worth it!

0 0

Dark Humor Jokes Jokes about Women Marriage and Family Jokes Prison Jokes Sick and Death Jokes Morbid jokes