Morbid jokes

Newest jokes in this category

I was walking through the cemetery the other day when a thought crossed my mind.
Call me a sentimental old fool if you like, but I couldn't resist it.
I texted my ex saying 'wish you were here'.

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Dark Humor Jokes Old People Jokes Relationship Jokes Sick and Death Jokes Morbid jokes

Q: What's faster than the speed of light?
A: A jew passing Germany.

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Dark Humor Jokes Jewish Jokes Ethnic and Racial Jokes Travel and Tourist Jokes Morbid jokes

Q: What is the difference between a Jew and a boy scout?
A: the boy Scott gets to go home after camp.

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Jewish Jokes Kids Jokes Dark Humor Jokes Ethnic and Racial Jokes Military Jokes What's The Difference Jokes Morbid jokes

What do women and Slinkies have in common?
Not really too much, but you can't help but сrаск a smile when one tumbles down the stairs.

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Dark Humor Jokes Jokes about Women One-Liner Jokes Yo Momma Jokes Morbid jokes

What is the difference between hiтlеr and Michael phelps
Michal phelps can finish a race

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Ethnic and Racial Jokes Hitler Jokes Sports Jokes Dark Humor Jokes Morbid jokes

I was shocked when I found out my toaster was not waterproof.

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Morbid jokes

I was digging in our garden and found a chest full of gold coins.
I wanted to run straight home to tell my wife about it.
Then I remembered why I was digging in our garden.

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Morbid jokes Dark Humor Jokes Marriage and Family Jokes

It’s important to establish a good vocabulary. If I had known the difference between the words “antidote” and “anecdote,” one of my best friends would still be alive.

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Morbid jokes

I was reading a great book about an immortal cat the other day. It was impossible to put down.

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Morbid jokes

I threw a boomerang a few years ago. I now live in constant fear.

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Morbid jokes

What's the difference between jelly and jam? You can't jelly a clown into the tiny car.

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Morbid jokes

You don’t need a parachute to go skydiving. You need a parachute to go skydiving twice.

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Morbid jokes

I childproofed my house. Somehow they still got in!

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Morbid jokes

I started crying when dad was cutting onions. Onions was such a good dog.

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Morbid jokes

What did Kermit the Frog say at his puppeteer’s funeral? Not a word.

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Morbid jokes

The guy who stole my diary just died. My thoughts are with his family.

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Morbid jokes