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Steven Spielberg was discussing his new project -- an action docudrama about famous composers starring top movie stars. Sylvester Stallone, Steven Seagal, Bruce Willis, and Arnold Schwarzenegger being courted for the top roles. Spielberg really hoped to have the box office "oomph" of these superstars, so he was prepared to allow them to select the composers they would portray, as long as they among the most famous.
"Well," started Stallone, "I've always admired Mozart. I would love to play him."
"Chopin has always been my favorite, and my image would improve if people saw me playing the piano," said Willis. "I'll play him."
"I've always been partial to Strauss and his waltzes," said Seagal. "I'd like to play him."
Spielberg was very pleased with these choices. "Sounds splendid." Then, looking at Schwarzenegger, he asked, "Who do you want to be, Arnold?"
Arnold replied, "I'll be Bach."
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Movie jokes Music and Musician Jokes
What We Learn From the Movies:
- It is always possible to park directly in front of any building you are visiting.
- A detective can only solve a case once he has been suspended from duty.
- If you start dancing in the street, everyone you bump into will know all the steps.
- Most laptops are powerful enough to override the communication systems of any invading alien civilization.
- It does not matter if you are heavily outnumbered in a fight involving martial arts, your enemies will wait patiently to attack you one by one, dancing around in a threatening manner until you have knocked out their predecessors.
- After a person suffers a massive вlоw to the head, they will still be surprisingly good looking.
- No one involved in a car chase, hijacking, explosion, volcanic eruption or alien invasion will ever go into shock.
- Partnering police officers with their total opposites will always, eventually, lead to buddy teams who share unbreakable bonds and gruff affection.
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Police Officer Jokes Car and driving jokes Technology Jokes Movie jokes Alien Jokes
MOVIE RATINGS EXPLAINED:
G: Nobody gets the girl.
PG: The good guy gets the girl.
R: The bad guy gets the girl.
X: Everybody gets the girl!
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Movie jokes Jokes about Women Men vs Women Jokes
Samuel L Jackson and Samuel R Jackson
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Movie jokes
"50 нюанса на сивото" е романтичен само защото момчето е милиардер.
Fifty shades of gray is romantic only because the guy is a billionaire.
If he was living in a trailer, it would be "Criminal minds" episode.
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Когато Чък Норис се пошегува с жената на Уил Смит, Уил Смит си набива шамар на себе си
When Chuck Norris tells a joke about Will Smith's wife, Will Smith slaps himself
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Movie jokes
Cage against the machine
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Music and Musician Jokes Movie jokes
WTF
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Movie jokes
ВНИМАНИЕ Тези двамата обикалят и звънят по вратите, като се представят за полиция. Не ги пускайте вътре – след това ще ви обират къщата. Обрали са съседи – щети за хиляди. Бял бус с чужди номера.... ВНИМАНИЕ Овие двајца одат од врата до врата и се претставуваат како полиција. Не ги пуштајте внатре – потоа ќе ви ја ограбат куќата. Ограбиле соседи – штети од илјадници. Бело комбе со странски... ATENCIÓN Estos dos van de puerta en puerta diciendo que son de la policía. No los dejen entrar – después les robarán la casa. Vecinos robados – daños por miles. Furgoneta blanca соn matrículas... ВНИМАНИЕ Эти двое ходят по домам, представляясь полицией. Не пускайте их внутрь – они ограбят ваш дом. Соседей обокрали – ущерб на тысячи. Белый фургон с иностранными номерами. Фото с моей дверной... WARNUNG Diese beiden gehen von Tür zu Tür und geben sich als Polizei aus. Lassen Sie sie niсhт herein – sie werden Ihr Haus ausrauben. Nachbarn beraubt – Schäden in Tausenderhöhe. Weißer... ATTENTION Ces deux personnes font du porte-à-porte en se faisant passer pour la police. Ne les laissez pas entrer – ils cambrioleront votre maison. Voisins cambriolés – dégâts de plusieurs... ΠΡΟΣΟΧΗ Αυτοί οι δύο πηγαίνουν από πόρτα σε πόρτα προσποιούμενοι την αστυνομία. Μην τους αφήσετε να μπουν – θα σας κλέψουν το σπίτι. Ληστείες σε γείτονες – ζημιές χιλιάδων. Λευκό βαν με ξένες... ATTENZIONE Questi due vanno di porta in porta fingendo di essere la polizia. Non fateli entrare – vi deruberanno la casa. Vicini derubati – danni per migliaia. Furgone bianco соn targhe straniere.... DİKKAT Bu iki kişi kapı kapı dolaşıp polis olduklarını söylüyor. İçeri almayın – evinizi soyacaklar. Komşular soyuldu – binlerce lira zarar. Yabancı plakalı beyaz minibüs. Kapı kameramdan görüntü. УВАГА Ці двоє ходять від дверей до дверей, представляючись поліцією. Не пускайте їх усередину – вони пограбують ваш дім. Сусідів пограбували – збитки на тисячі. Білий фургон з іноземними номерами.... ATENÇÃO Esses dois andam de porta em porta dizendo ser da polícia. Não os deixem entrar – vão roubar a sua casa. Vizinhos roubados – prejuízos de milhares. Van branca com placas estrangeiras.... UWAGA Ci dwaj chodzą od drzwi do drzwi, podając się za policję. Nie wpuszczajcie ich – okradną wasz dom. Sąsiedzi okradzeni – straty na tysiące. Biały van z zagranicznymi tablicami. Zdjęcie z mojej... VARNING Dessa två går runt och utger sig för att vara polis. Släpp inte in dem – de kommer att råna ditt hus. Grannar rånade – skador för tusentals. Vit skåpbil med utländska skyltar. Bild från min... WAARSCHUWING Deze twee gaan langs de deuren en doen zich voor als politie. Laat ze niet binnen – ze beroven je huis. Buren beroofd – schade van duizenden. Witte bestelwagen met buitenlandse... ADVARSEL Disse to går fra dør til dør og udgiver sig for at være politi. Luk dem ikke ind – de vil røve dit hus. Naboer berøvet – skader for tusindvis. Hvid varevogn med udenlandske nummerplader.... ADVARSEL Disse to går fra dør til dør og utgir seg for å være politi. Ikke slipp dem inn – de vil rane huset ditt. Naboer ranet – skader for tusenvis. Hvit varebil med utenlandske skilter. Bilde... VAROITUS Nämä kaksi kiertävät ovelta ovelle ja esiintyvät poliiseina. Älkää päästäkö heitä sisään – he ryöstävät talonne. Naapureita ryöstetty – vahingot tuhansia. Valkoinen pakettiauto... FIGYELEM Ez a két ember házról házra jár, rendőrnek adja ki magát. Ne engedjék be – kirabolják a házat. Szomszédokat kiraboltak – több ezres kár. Fehér furgon külföldi rendszámmal. Kép az... ATENȚIE Acești doi merg din ușă în ușă pretinzând că sunt polițiști. Nu îi lăsați să intre – vă vor jefui casa. Vecini jefuiți – pagube de mii. Dubă albă cu numere străine. Imagine de la camera mea... UPOZORNĚNÍ Tito dva chodí od dveří ke dveřím a vydávají se za policii. Nepouštějte je dovnitř – vykradou váš dům. Sousedé okradeni – škody za tisíce. Bílá dodávka se zahraničními značkami. Snímek z... ĮSPĖJIMAS Šie du vaikšto nuo durų prie durų ir apsimeta policija. Neįleiskite jų – jie apvogs jūsų namus. Kaimynai apvogti – žala tūkstančiais. Baltas furgonas su užsienio numeriais. Vaizdas iš... BRĪDINĀJUMS Šie divi staigā no durvīm uz durvīm, uzdodoties par policiju. Nelaidiet viņus iekšā – viņi apzags jūsu māju. Kaimiņi apzagti – zaudējumi tūkstošos. Balts busiņš ar ārvalstu numuriem.... UPOZORENJE Ova dvojica idu od vrata do vrata i predstavljaju se kao policija. Nemojte ih pustiti unutra – opljačkat će vam kuću. Susjedi opljačkani – šteta od tisuća. Bijeli kombi sa stranim...
WARNING These two go door to door claiming to be police. Do not let them inside – they will rob your house. Neighbors robbed – damage worth thousands. White van with foreign plates. Image from my door...
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Movie jokes Christmas Jokes
So, you're not a Terminator anymore? Negative. I retired. Now I kill bugs. I am a ex-Terminator
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Movie jokes
Tom Waits Jeremy Irons
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Movie jokes
Matt Damon So much fuching money
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Movie jokes
Van Damme
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Movie jokes
One of the best actors in the world and Jason Statham
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Movie jokes
Spiderman
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Movie jokes
Behind the scenes - metro goldwyn mayer
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Movie jokes
The main difference between Gandalf the grey & Gandalf the White
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Movie jokes
The villains that Captain Jack Sparrow defeated
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Movie jokes Military Jokes
If Middle Earth had hair dye... Th'Oreal T'htandeal
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Movie jokes
Чета "Властелинът на пръстените". Явно Голъм някога е бил нормален мъж, но след като е сложил пръстен, това му е изцедило младостта, енергията и всякаква радост от живота...
I've been reading 'Lord Of The Rings' and apparently, Gollum was once a normal man, but wearing the ring drained him of his youth, energy and any joy in life...
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Marriage and Family Jokes Movie jokes
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