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Programmer Jokes

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Why did the lumberjack get nowhere with the internet?
He kept logging on and off.
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Internet Jokes Computer Jokes Programmer Jokes
You realize that you are dependent of the internet when:
You forget in what year you are.
You get out from you’re room and you discover that you’re parent moved and you don’t even know when that happened.
You dream only of quick connections.
You open you’re interphone when you get out from you’re room so you can hear when you get an e-mail.
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Internet Jokes Computer Jokes Programmer Jokes
What goes ‘choo choo choo’ while online?
Thomas the search engine.
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Programmer Jokes Computer Jokes
This website may not be idiот proof, but at least it’s diмwiт resistant.
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Programmer Jokes Computer Jokes
Software isn’t released, it’s allowed to escape.
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Programmer Jokes Computer Jokes
Chaos reigns within.
Reflect, repent, and restart.
Order shall return.
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Programmer Jokes Computer Jokes
Two packets walk into a bar.
One of the packets asks the bartender for a drink, and gets no response
The other packet tries and the bartender shrugs him off.
One packet leans to the other and says, "The quality of service here is terrible!"
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Programmer Jokes Computer Jokes
C program run.
C program crash.
C programmer quit.
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Programmer Jokes Computer Jokes
Q: What do you get when you cross a gorilla and a computer?
A: Hairy Reasoner.
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Technology Jokes Computer Jokes Programmer Jokes
What did the psychiatrist say to the android kleptomaniac?
DON'T keep taking the tablets!
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Programmer Jokes Computer Jokes
Pentiums melt in your PC, not in your hand.
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Programmer Jokes Computer Jokes
System restore disk, do not erase!
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Programmer Jokes
Did you know you can download the whole Tyson-Holyfield fight off the internet?
It doesn’t take much memory – just two Bytes.
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Internet Jokes Technology Jokes Sports Jokes Computer Jokes Programmer Jokes
Where does the acronym LOTUS come from?
Let Only Users Suffer.
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Programmer Jokes Computer Jokes
Una vez un programador se ahogó en el mar. Muchos marineros estuvieron en ese momento en la playa, pero el programador estuvo gritando: “F1, F1”y nadie le entendió. Once a programmer drowned in the sea. Many Marines where at that time on the beach, but the programmer was shouting "F1 F1" and nobody understood it. What does the informatics teacher scream when he’s drowning? -F1, F1, F1... - Mit mond az informatikus, amikor beleesik a vízbe? - ??? - F1! F1! F1!
Once upon a time, a computer programmer drowned at sea.
Many were on the beach and heard him cry out, “F1! F1!”, but no one understood.
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Computer Jokes Programmer Jokes
Windows: Weapon off mass destruction!
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Programmer Jokes Computer Jokes
Double your drive space.
Delete Windows!
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Programmer Jokes Computer Jokes
How do insects communicate?
By bee mail.
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Programmer Jokes Computer Jokes
The website you seek Cannot be located, but Countless more exist.
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Programmer Jokes Computer Jokes
Having been erased, The document you’re seeking Must now be retyped.
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Programmer Jokes Computer Jokes
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