Internet Jokes

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Dignity: Is that thing you lose when you send someone a second text before they’ve answered the first.

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Internet Jokes

James Bond is constantly ripped, amazing at poker, and seems to know where all the good looking girls in the area are.
Three guesses how he spent his time as a teenager…

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Internet Jokes

Sociologists say that social media is creating the laziest generation ever.
I expressed my opinion in great detail by hitting the “Like” button.

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Internet Jokes

I hate when people inbox me to tell me how funny my statuses are……..
Mother fсuкеr there is a “Like” button for a reason!

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Internet Jokes

I was watching a роrnо and this girl managed to gag on the bloke’s соск for up to five minutes at a time.
Amazed by such a performance, I tried this with my wife and ended up killing her.
Turns out that I just have a slow internet connection.

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Criminal Jokes Internet Jokes

There’s an embarrassing video of me using incorrect words that has made it’s way onto the net.
To make matters worse, it’s gone virus.

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Internet Jokes

I was on the train today and couldn’t help but notice the bloke sitting next to me streaming роrn on his mobile phone.
I was furious. How can he get a signal in a tunnel and I can’t?”

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Internet Jokes

“I don’t know why you bought that laptop. You never use it,” said my wife.
She only says that because she checks my browsing history every day.

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Internet Jokes

If you can go to the gym without telling people on the Internet, you are instantly hired by the CIA.

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Attitude Jokes Internet Jokes

When I see a girl nакеd, I first look at her hair. Then at her eyes, lips, neck…
Damn dial-up!

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Internet Jokes

I can’t believe all the singles in my area want to meet me.
Probably because of all the iPads I’ve won.

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Internet Jokes

We used to be afraid people on the internet would find us in real life.
Now we’re terrified people in real life will find us on the internet.

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Internet Jokes

I am very wary of online date sites now. I answered one where the girl’s profile said, “People say I’m a sаinт.” …
…
Sure enough, when we met up. she had a face like a sаinт-a Sаinт Bernard!

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Internet Jokes

In a survival situation, you can drink your own urinе.
Fortunately, my Wi-Fi came back on just as I was filling the can.

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Internet Jokes

The wife shivered in front of the camera, after having had a bucket of iced water poured over her head.
“That was awesome,” I laughed. “But you didn’t nominate anyone.”
“Because I was fсuкing sleeping, you c*nt!” she yelled.

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Internet Jokes

I read this article about how the internet is allowing people to get free music and movies illegally and such piracy is killing the respective industries. Вullshiт! We’ve all downloaded loads of pirated free роrn and the роrn industry is booming!

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Internet Jokes

Why do they even offer 2014 as an option when selecting your birth date?
Like you’re fresh out of the wомв ready to join Gmail.

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Internet Jokes

They say that too much роrn is bad for you. Well, I beg to differ.
In the past four weeks I’ve won £23k on poker, grew my соск 4 inches, got in to incredible shape and met a hot local girl in my area!

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Internet Jokes

I saw a great Indian роrn film last night.
Miss Singh In Action.

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Internet Jokes

People say that using your pet’s name as a password is very bad idea…
But my bcQr#1f!e is just so adorable!

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Internet Jokes

If you read your timeline backwards it is about a person who hates everything and gradually becomes happier until they get a life.

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Internet Jokes

I’ve been watching so much роrn lately, I’ve started spitting on my front door lock before I put the key in.

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Internet Jokes

Just found out from the internet that heaven isn’t real. Apparently the bright light you see when you die is actually you being reborn and coming out of another vаginа.

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Religion jokes Internet Jokes

An open letter to spammers:
When you ask “Do I want a вiggеr соск?” the answer is no, my equipment is exactly the right size and I get satisfaction every time.
When you ask “Do I want Viаgrа so I can shаg all night?” the answer is no, after I have emptied my sack I want to sleep, if I wanted to stay awake all night I would do some speed and go to a rave.
It seems to me that you are asking the wrong people these questions.

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Internet Jokes

Ever had one of those e-mails about соск-extensions?
It’s funny how they always know who to send it to.

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Internet Jokes

Internet went down last night.
My neighbour’s added a password.

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Internet Jokes

Dear hackers, I know you have been leaking blockbuster movies, pictures of nакеd celebrities, and now all the credit card details of thousands of Amazon users..
Just wanted to say thats really clever and all.. but perhaps next you can tell us where you are posting it all cos none of us can fсuкing find it..

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Internet Jokes

I was browsing on my laptop looking for роrn and picture came up saying, “Chrome cannot open this page.”
They must have been stuck together.

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Internet Jokes

Naming a роrn website “Brazzers” is really considerate because the name can be typed entirely with the left-hand.

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Internet Jokes

Please put this on your status if you know someone (or are related to someone)who just dont give a shiт WHAT your status says. People who dont give a shiт generally dont read what your status says and really dont care. 97% of people won’t copy and paste this, because they cant be arsed and didnt read this anyway. The other 3% of people are nosy buggers like you! will you re-post this?

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Internet Jokes

Just got a new internet connected toaster. It wouldnt work until I enabled Pop Ups

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Internet Jokes

What’s the difference between you and the internet? People want a connection from the internet

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Internet Jokes

Chatting with a stranger on the internet
Me : Hi, How are you?
A stranger : I’m fine, hbu?
Me : I’m good
🤷‍♂️

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Internet Jokes