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Relationship Jokes

Newest jokes in this category
The first time I met my wife, I knew she was a keeper. She was wearing massive gloves.
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Relationship Jokes
Q. What do you do if you miss your mother-in-law?
A. Reload and try again.
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Relationship Jokes
I heard you are looking for someone to build an ark for you… I think i noah guy!
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Relationship Jokes
A woman is a complicated creature. Before marriage, she expects a man, after marriage she suspects him, and after death she respects him.
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Jokes about Women Marriage and Family Jokes Men jokes Relationship Jokes
My wife used to think that I was a control freak but that changed once I started to make deductions from her allowance.
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Relationship Jokes
On his deathbed barely able to breathe, Edward smelled the aroma of freshly baked brownies. He always had a passion for this confection and thought to himself, "If I could just have one more brownie I could die in peace!"
He called to his wife but his voice was so frail she couldn't hear him. Not getting an answer, he slid out of the bed and onto the floor, then dragged himself across the room and out into the hallway.
Down the hall and down the stairs he slowly moved, crawling hand over hand closer to that heavenly smell. At the bottom of the stairs he pulled himself along painfully-hand over hand closer to that delicious aroma. He continued-through the living room, across the dining room, and finally up into his chair at the dining table. He reached across the table and grabbed the tray of freshly baked brownies.
But as Edward dragged the tray toward himself it made a scraping noise, and suddenly he heard his wife yell from the kitchen, "Don't touch the brownies, they're for the funeral!"
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Relationship Jokes
When I say to a guy, 'Look, we've gotta talk,' what I really mean is, 'We've been together for months. I've now twisted my personality into an emotional pretzel to accommodate your every need. I want to know your idea of commitment versus my idea of commitment. Are we getting married? Are we having kids? Are we going to couples counseling? Where's this relationship going? I want to know.' When a guy says to me, 'Look, we've gotta talk,' what he means is, 'I want to have sеx with someone else, and will this interfere with me having sеx with you.'
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Marriage and Family Jokes Kids Jokes Dirty jokes Sex Jokes Relationship Jokes
Why do women love gold more than men?
Because gold has 24 carrots whereas a man only has 1 carrot !
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Jokes about Women Men jokes Relationship Jokes
I disabled my popup blocker earlier today, or got a divorce as some people call it.
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Relationship Jokes
Slept on the sofa last night. Apparently when my wife asked me to bring her something from the store for pancakes she wasn’t talking about a вrа.
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Relationship Jokes
Bo tells Jed, "Ya know, I reckon I'm 'bout ready for a vacation. Only this year I'm gonna do it a little different. The last few years, I took your advice about where to go."
"Well, what are you going to do, then?" Jed asks.
"Three years ago you said to go to Hawaii. I went to Hawaii and Earlene got pregnant."
"Yeah," Jed agrees.
"Then two years ago, you told me to go to the Bahamas, and Earlene got pregnant again."
"I remember," Jed says.
"Last year you suggested Tahiti and darned if Earlene didn't get pregnant again."
"So," Jed asks, "what you gonna do this year that's different?"
"Well," Bo replies,
"This year I'm taking Earlene with me."
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Relationship Jokes
The five most essential words for a healthy, vital relationship "I apologize" and "You are right."
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Relationship Jokes Life Jokes
Normally, I don't go for the piercings and tattoos, but then she said to me that she got them because she's addicted to the pain. Yeah, which -- I was kind of intimidated, but kind of turned on at the same time. 'Cause y'all don't know, but I've been out of a relationship for three months now. I'm ready to have that just-out-of-prison sеx.
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Dirty jokes Sex Jokes Relationship Jokes
Yesterday I went through a costly and painful procedure that required me to have my spine and both testicles removed.
Still, I got some fantastic wedding presents.
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Relationship Jokes
Can’t believe how long my wife and kids spend on eBay. It’s been weeks and still nobody has made a bid for them.
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Kids Jokes Relationship Jokes
W. Washing
I. Ironing
F. F*cking
E. Etcetera
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Relationship Jokes
Q. What does an Ikea cabinet and a marriage have in common?
A. One sсrеw out of place and the whole thing falls apart.
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Marriage and Family Jokes Relationship Jokes
Just broke up with my girlfriend. Don‘t know where me and Helen (or ‘saggy тiтs’ as I used to call her) went wrong.
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Relationship Jokes Boob Jokes
I love blind dates. I spent the whole time staring at her тiтs and she didn‘t even notice.
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Relationship Jokes Boob Jokes
My wife recently told me she wanted to go around the world so for her birthday I decided to buy her an atlas.
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Relationship Jokes
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