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Relationship Jokes

Newest jokes in this category

Anybody get a random вiтсh phone call? Oh, you know what I mean. The women that found the phone number, then call it. This woman called me up, talking about, 'Look, I don't know who you is, but I found your phone number in my man's pocket. And you better not be fooling around with my man.' So I said, 'Honey, I don't know who you is either, but I'm gonna give you a little woman-to-woman advice. If you're having a problem in your relationship -- you think your man is cheating on you -- that's something you need to talk over with your man...' So I woke him up, gave him the phone and let her talk to him.

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Jokes about Women Dirty jokes Men jokes Relationship Jokes

Q. What do women and 0% APR loans have in common?
A. They both have extremely complicated terms and they both keep saying they have no interest.

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Jokes about Women Relationship Jokes

What do you call the significant other of a Bohemian chess player?
Czechmate!

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Relationship Jokes

My Wife has this really annoying habit. She keeps breathing.

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Relationship Jokes

Four secrets of a happy marriage.
1. Find a woman who can cook and clean.
2. Find a woman who is an animal in bed.
3. Find a woman with lots of money.
4. Make sure none of these 3 women ever meet each-other.

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Women are just like modern art. You'll never enjoy either if you try to understand them.

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Jokes about Women Relationship Jokes

My wife only ever has sеx with me when she wants something. Last night she wanted to time an egg.

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Sex Jokes Relationship Jokes

When shopping I always hold hands with my girlfriend. People think it’s for romantic reasons but it’s actually for economic reasons.

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Relationship Jokes

Why don't couples go to the gym together?
Because some relationships don't work out!

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Office and Work Jokes Relationship Jokes

After visiting our house my mother-in-law got ambushed by 6 men who starting punching her. My wife shouted “Are you gonna help?”, I said “6 should be enough!”

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Men jokes Relationship Jokes

My Girlfriend told me:
"You have nothing but Jokes! Why can't you ever be serious for once! Hey, you could even make a fine husband one day! Hint!"
"Oh, seriously?" I said (thinking I'm not ready for a commitment yet).
She replied, "Of course, I have always dreamed of the fairy tale wedding and having 6 kids just like the Brady Bunch."
So I replied back, "Well, you're right Honey, I do need to take things more seriously. Actually, I was thinking about changing my profession from Delivering Pizzas to being a Famous Writer."
My Girlfriend says,
"Now your talking! I know that's not steady money but anything but more jokes!"
So I said back, "Honey, I know how important you want us to get married and have 6 kids like the Brady Bunch. So how does it sound to you if we discuss our future of a Big wedding and lots of kids!"
My Girlfriend says,
"Really?" (She blushes and looking very hopeful.)
I said,
"Of course! So where to you want us to get married? In Chapter 2 or 3?"

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There's no relationship here, Travis. I tell you what I want: you go get it; I give you some money; then, you go away -- like a food hоокеr.

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I haven’t spoken to my wife in years, didn’t want to interrupt her.

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Relationship Jokes

The "car way" of telling how far the relationship is:
- - Trying to impress the woman: unlocks and opens the door, waits for her to get inside, closes her door behind her.
- - Dating: the guy unlocks her door and then goes around to his side to get in.
- - Engaged: The man opens his door leans over and unlocks her door and opens it.
- - Married: The man gets in to the driver's seat, unlocks the doors, and says "Aren't you getting in?"

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Q. Why is a wife like a candle?
A. Because if you you’re not careful with them they can take away your house.

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Relationship Jokes

A couple were on vacation in Colorado. They flew to Denver and rented a car to sight see. One of the sights was a bridge that was more than 1,000 feet above the river. Walking out onto the bridge, they noticed it swaying in the wind.
"I don't think I want to drive the car across this bridge," one said to the other.
"What are you worried about?" the second replied. "It's a rental."

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Relationship Jokes

The following text messages were exchanged on a cold winters day in December.
Wife:
“Windows frozen.”
Husband:
“Pour some warm water over them.”
Wife:
“Computer completely sсrеwеd up now.”

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Relationship Jokes

Women color their hair, get воов-jobs, plastic surgery, liposuction, wear heels to increase their height…
Then complain that there’s no real men out there.

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Granddad finally came out of a coma last night. He’s now dead.

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Relationship Jokes

This may save you some pain and some time. If you ever go out with someone who says this to you, 'I don't know why I'm not in a relationship; I have so much love to give,' you should just know that what this really means is, 'I am the black hole of emotional need and will suск the life out of you.'

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Marriage and Family Jokes Relationship Jokes