Relationship Jokes

My wife always complains. Last week she was complaining that I never take her anywhere so last night I booked her a table but she still wasn’t happy. Apparently she hates snooker.

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Relationship Jokes

A man with a gun is robbing a bank. He asks one of the bank customers if he saw him rob the bank. The guy says he did. The robber then shoots him in the head killing him immediately. The robber then asks a couple nearest to him the same thing. The husband says that he didn't but his wife did.

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Men jokes Relationship Jokes

My wife is really beginning to annoy me. I took her out for a meal yesterday and she ordered the most expensive thing on the menu, double whopper with cheese!

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Relationship Jokes

My wife´s suspicious mind is really begining to annoy me. Last night after looking at my calendar she wanted to know who May was.

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Relationship Jokes

One in every three people cheat in their relationships…just wondering: is it my wife, or my girlfriend that’s cheating?

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Marriage and Family Jokes Relationship Jokes

You are at a party and you see a very pretty girl. You approach her and tell her:
“I am very good in bed “. That is Direct Marketing.
You are at a party with a group of friends and you see a very pretty girl. One of your friends approaches her and tells her:
“That guy over there is very good in bed “. That is Advertising.
You are at a party and you see a very pretty girl. You ask for her phone number. The following day you call her and tell her:
“I am very good in bed “. That is Telemarketing.
You are at a party and you see a very pretty girl. You recognize her, you approach her and refresh her memory by telling her:
“Do you remember how good I am in bed? ” That is Customer Relationship Management.
You are at a party and you see a very pretty girl. You get up, fix your tie, pour her a drink, open the door for her, pick up her bag when it falls and you tell her:
“I am very good in bed “. That is Public Relations.
You are at a party and you see a very pretty girl. She approaches you and tells you:
“I heard you are very good in bed “. That is BRANDING!!”

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Friendship Jokes Relationship Jokes

I picked the wrong time to break up with my girlfriend. I made the mistake of doing this when the roller coaster we were on at the theme park was almost to the top, ready to plummet down the other side...
Needless to say, things went downhill from there.

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Relationship Jokes

Definition of Stalking: When two people go for a long romantic walk together but only one of them knows about it.

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Relationship Jokes

My daughter was born yesterday. I named her after my mother-in-law, she’s called ‘passive-aggressive рsyсhо’.

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Relationship Jokes

I asked a friend of mine by phone what he was doing. He told me he couldn't talk because he was working on "aqua-thermal treatment of ceramics, aluminum, and steel while under a dangerously constrained environment."
I was impressed. Until the following day when I learned that meant he was "washing dishes with hot water under his upset wife's supervision."

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Office and Work Jokes Friendship Jokes Relationship Jokes

My wife decided to bleach her fасiаl hair the other day. I’m not sure the blond goatee beard makes her look any better.

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Blonde Jokes Relationship Jokes

To make a relationship work you need to make a lot of sacrifices which is why I keep a large number of goats in my garden.

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Office and Work Jokes Relationship Jokes

Two girlfriends were chatting with each other.
"I only date guys with a flat-top. You know, the kind of crew cut in which the hair is cropped in a flat plane across the top."
"Why only those types of guys?"
"They're level headed."

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Relationship Jokes

Can’t believe how much doctors lie. Last year I went to hospital to get a vasectomy to stop my wife getting pregnant but it turns out all it does is change the color of the baby.

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Medical and Doctor Jokes Relationship Jokes

A husband and wife were at a party chatting with some friends when the subject of marriage counseling came up. "Oh! We’ll never need that. My husband and I have a great relationship," the wife explained. "He was a communications major in college, and I majored in theater arts.
He communicates really well, and I just act like I'm listening."

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Marriage and Family Jokes Friendship Jokes Relationship Jokes

I like to make love to my wife with a mirror in the room. I usually put it under her nose to make sure she’s still breathing.

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Relationship Jokes

The following conversation took place between a husband and wife.
Wife: Tell me something that will make me wet.
Husband: Go outside, it’s raining.

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Relationship Jokes

My boyfriend and I were taking his 19-year-old niece to a weekend festival. When we arrived at her house to pick her up, she appeared in tasteful but very short shorts, and a tank top with spaghetti straps. A debate began immediately about appropriate dress. I took the girl’s side, recalling that when we began dating, I dressed the same way.
“Yes,” said my boyfriend sternly, “and I said something about it, didn’t I?”
Everyone looked at me. “Yeah,” I replied. “You said, ‘What’s your phone number?'”

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Relationship Jokes

When I was a child my mother had an affair with a demolition man, he was a real home-wrecker.

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Men jokes Relationship Jokes

“I spent our entire relationship trying to change the man he was all the way until I broke up with him for not being the same man I met and fell in love with” ~ Women

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Jokes about Women Men jokes Relationship Jokes Sexist Jokes