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A woman was out golfing one day when she hit her ball into the woods.
She went into the woods to look for it and found a frog in a trap.
The frog said to her, "If you release me from this trap, I will grant you 3 wishes."
The woman freed the frog and the frog said, "Thank you, but I failed to mention that there was a condition to your wishes-that whatever you wish for, your husband will get 10 times more or better!"
The woman said, "That would be okay," and for her first wish, she wanted to be the most beautiful woman in the world.
The frog warned her, "You do realize that this wish will also make your husband the most handsome man in the world, an Adonis, that women will flock to."
The woman replied, "That will be okay because I will be the most beautiful woman and he will only have eyes for me."
So, KAZAM - she's the most beautiful woman in the world!
For her second wish, she wanted to be the richest woman in the world.
The frog said, "That will make your husband the richest man in the world and he will be ten times richer than you."
The woman said, "That will be okay because what is mine is his and what is his is mine."
So, KAZAM she's the richest woman in the world!
The frog then inquired about her third wish, and she answered, I'd like a mild heart attack."
The young fellow is about to marry and asks his grandfather how often a married couple should have sеx.
His grandfather tells him, "When you first get married, you want it all the time, maybe several times a day; later on, maybe once a week. As you get older, you have sеx maybe once a month. When you get really old, you are lucky to have it once a year, maybe on your anniversary."
The young fellow asks, "How about you and Grandma?"
His grandfather replies, "Oh, we just have оrаl sеx now. She goes into her bedroom and I go into my bedroom. She yells, 'F**k you,' and I holler back, 'F**k you, too!'"
A man rushes out of his wife's hospital room.
"Doctor, doctor -- my wife's been in a coma for several months, but when I just touched her left вrеаsт, she sighed!"
"That's very encouraging," says the doctor. "Go back and touch her right вrеаsт. See if she reacts."
A few minutes later, the man rushes out again:
"Doctor, she moaned!"
"Very good," says the doctor.
"Now try оrаl sеx.
She should certainly react to that!"
Five minutes later, the man comes out back out, white as a sheet.
"Doctor -- she died."
"No! What happened?" the doctor exclaims.
"Well, doc," the man says tearfully, "she choked."