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Soccer Jokes

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On the seventh day, God said, "Let there be football." And it was good. Later that day, God said, "Let there be one team to rule the others and set the standard for excellence."
With that, he plucked a star from the heavens and placed it on the helmet of silver and blue. God said, "Let it be called, ''The Dallas Cowboys'' - America''s team." Later that day, God said, "Even Cowboys need a**holes."So he made their fans.
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Three holy men rode a plane home.
There was a terrorist on board who of the firm belief that the world should end.
Who should talk him out of it.
The pilot and his crew gave up and believed the holy men should live.
In the remains was a burnt soccer ball labeled flame retardant.
And a melted black box.
The holy men still live to tell the tale.
And so does the football.
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Why India don't play football? FIFA can't manage to wait for them on a 30 minutes dance after every successful goal score
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Иранеца Реза Паратеш, обвинен, че се е представил като Лео Меси, с цел да преспи с 23 жени
Iranian fake Messi named Reza Paratesh, accused of pretending to be real Leo Messi in order to sleep with 23 women.
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Дами и господа това е mambo 5 Дамы и господа, это Meine Damen und Herren, das ist Mesdames et messieurs, voici le Damas y caballeros, este es el Signore e signori, questo è il Senhoras e senhores, este é o
Ladies and gentlemen  This is
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Снимки от Световното с най-доброто, което всяка страна може да предложи Слики од Светското со најдоброто што може да понуди секоја земја Imágenes del Mundial mostrando lo mejor que cada país tiene para ofrecer Кадры с Чемпионата мира, показывающие всё лучшее, что может предложить каждая страна Aufnahmen von der Weltmeisterschaft, die das Beste zeigen, was jedes Land zu bieten hat Images de la Coupe du Monde montrant le meilleur que chaque pays a à offrir Πλάνα από το Παγκόσμιο Κύπελλο που δείχνουν τα καλύτερα που έχει να προσφέρει κάθε χώρα Scatti dai Mondiali che mostrano il meglio che ogni paese ha da offrire Dünya Kupası’ndan kareler, her ülkenin sunabileceği en iyileri gösteriyor Кадри з чемпіонату світу, що показують найкраще, що може запропонувати кожна країна Imagens da Copa do Mundo mostrando o melhor que cada país tem a oferecer Ujęcia z Mistrzostw Świata pokazujące to, co najlepsze, co każdy kraj ma do zaoferowania Bilder från VM som visar det bästa varje land har att erbjuda Beelden van het WK die het beste laten zien dat elk land te bieden heeft Optagelser fra VM, der viser det bedste, hvert land har at byde på Bilder fra VM som viser det beste hvert land har å tilby Kuvia MM-kisoista, jotka näyttävät, mitä parasta jokaisella maalla on tarjota Felvételek a világbajnokságról, amelyek megmutatják, mit tud a legjobbat nyújtani minden ország Imagini de la Cupa Mondială care arată ce are mai bun de oferit fiecare țară Záběry z mistrovství světa ukazující to nejlepší, co může každá země nabídnout Kadro iš pasaulio čempionato, rodančios geriausius kiekvienos šalies momentus Kadrējumi no pasaules čempionāta, kas rāda visu labāko, ko katra valsts var piedāvāt Snimke sa Svjetskog prvenstva koje prikazuju ono najbolje što svaka zemlja nudi
Shots from the World Cup showing the best every country has to offer
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Yo' Mama is so sтuрid, she thinks a quarterback is a refund.
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How can you tell if a redneck is married?
There is tobacco spit stains on BOTH sides of his pickup truck.
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A soccer coach walked into the locker room before a game, looked over to his star player and said:
"I'm not supposed to let you play since you failed math, but we need you in there.
So, what I have to do is ask you a math question, and if you get it right, you can play."
The player agreed, and the coach looked into his eyes intently and asks:
"Okay, now concentrate hard and tell me the answer to this. What is two plus two?"
The player thought for a moment and then he answered:
"I think... no... yes... I’m not sure... what about 4?"
"Did you say 4?" the smiled coach exclaimed, excited that he got it right.
At that, all the other players on the team began screaming:
"Come on coach, give him another chance!"
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What did the football coach say when he went to the bank?
- “I want my quarter back.”
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