Sports Jokes

Newest jokes in this category
Sports Jokes
Two football players, Bubba and Tiny, were taking an important exam. If they failed, they would be on academic probation and not allowed to play in the big game the following week.
The exam was “fill in the blank” and the last question read, “Old MacDonald had a_____.” Bubba was stumped - he had no idea what to answer, but he knew he needed to get this one right to be sure he passed.
Making sure the professor wasn't watching, he tapped Tiny in the shoulder. “Tiny, what's the answer to the last question?” Tiny laughed, then looked around to make sure the professor hadn't noticed. He turned to Bubba and said, “Bubba, you're so sтuрid. Everyone knows that Old MacDonald had a FARM.”
“Oh yeah,” said Bubba, “I remember now.” he picked up his No. 2 pencil and started to write the answer in the blank. Then he stopped. Tapping Tiny on the shoulder, he whispered, “Tiny, how do you spell farm?”
“You are really dumb, Bubba. that's so easy,” hissed Tiny, “farm is spelled ‘E-I-E-I-O’.”
Sports Jokes
Top 10 Man-gina/She-nis Activities:
Things a Man Would Do if He Woke up with a Vagina
10. Immediately go shopping for a vibrator
9. Squat over a hand-held mirror for an hour and a half
8. See if he could finally do a split
7. See if it's truly possible to launch a ping-pong ball 20 feet
6. Cross his legs without rearranging his crotch
5. Get picked up in a bar in less than 20 minutes
4. Have consecutive multiple оrgаsмs and still be ready for more without sleeping first
3. Go to the gynecologist for a pelvic exam and ask to have it recorded on video
2. Sit on the edge of the bed and pray for вrеаsтs too
1. Finally find that dамn G-Spot
Things a Woman Would Do if She Woke up with a Penis
10. Get ahead faster in the corporate world
9. Get a blowjob
8. Find out what is so fascinating about "beating the meat"
7. Рее standing up
6. Determine WHY you can't hit the bowl consistently
5. Find out what it is like to be on the other end of a surging orgasm
4. Touch/shift herself in public without a thought as to how improper it might seem
3. Jump up and down nакеd with an еrестiоn to see if it feels as funny as it looks
2. Understand the scientific reason for the light refraction that occurs between a man's eyes and the ruler situated next to his member, which causes two inches to be added to the final measurement
1. Repeat #9
Sports Jokes Gynecology Jokes
Top Ten Caddy Comments:
Golfer: "Think I'm going to drown myself in the lake."
Caddy: "Think you can keep your head down that long?"
Golfer: "I'd move heaven and earth to break 100 on this course."
Caddy: "Try heaven, you've already moved most of the earth."
Golfer: "Do you think my game is improving?"
Caddy: "Yes sir, you miss the ball much closer now."
Golfer: "Do you think I can get there with a 5 iron?"
Caddy: "Eventually."
Golfer: "You've got to be the worst caddy in the world."
Caddy: "I don't think so sir. That would be too much of a coincidence."
Golfer: "Please stop checking your watch all the time. It's too much of a distraction."
Caddy: "It's not a watch - it's a compass."
Golfer: "How do you like my game?"
Caddy: "Very good sir, but personally, I prefer golf."
Golfer: "Do you think it's a sin to play on Sunday?"
Caddy: "The way you play, sir, it's a sin on any day."
Golfer: "This is the worst course I've ever played on."
Caddy: "This isn't the golf course. We left that an hour ago."
Golfer: "That can't be my ball, it's too old."
Caddy: "It's been a long time since we teed off, sir."
Sports Jokes
Sports Jokes
Sports Jokes
Two guys are hitting the links at their local golf and country club.
Luckily, it's a beautiful day, and there's hardly anyone on the course, so they've been breezing through the holes. Up around the seventh tee, they spot the first people on the course other than themselves, two ladies who, from the guys' perspective, are having trouble on the green. In fact, they've each five-putted it!
The first guy says ''Сhrisт. I hope they just had a bad hole, I don't want to follow these broads for the next eleven holes!'' The second one goes, ''Well, maybe I'll go talk to them, and maybe they can let us pass them. I'll be back in a sec.''
So he trots off, about to go and ask to let them pass. Suddenly, about a hundred feet away from the women, he stops, turns and runs away from them as fast as he can. When he comes back, he exclaims, ''Jesus! That's my wife and my girlfriend! They're both here! Golfing together! I'm sorry, man, but I can't say anything to them. I'm liable to be killed if they saw me. How about you go ask them?''
So the other guy concurs, and trots off to ask the women if they can pass and get on with their game. Then he stops suddenly, spins around and runs back to his buddy in the same manner. ''What's wrong? What's the matter?'' his friend says. ''Same dамn thing,'' he replies.
Sports Jokes
A woman calls a clinic and says she hasn't been able to sleep because her dog snores too loudly.
The doctor told her to tie a ribbon around his ваlls and he will shutup. The woman goes to her bedroom and sees her dog lieing on the floor snoring. She gets a red ribbon and ties it around his ваlls. The dog stops snoring. The woman goes to sleep.
After a while, her husband comes home drunк. He lays in bed and falls fast asleep. He starts to snore loudly so the woman gets a blue ribbon and ties it around his ваlls. The next morning the woman gets up and goes to work. The man wakes up and sees the blue ribbon on his ваlls. Then he looks down at the dog and sees the red ribbon around his ваlls. The guy says to the dog, ''I don't know what we did lasst night, but we got first and second place!'''
Sports Jokes Dog jokes