Thanksgiving Jokes

Newest jokes in this category

13.
What did the turkey say before he was roasted?
“OK, spare me no insults. Roast me!”

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Thanksgiving Jokes

14.
If the Pilgrims were still alive today, what would they be celebrated for the most?
Their age.

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Thanksgiving Jokes

15.
What is a good name for post-Thanksgiving constipation?
Turkey in suspense.

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Thanksgiving Jokes

16.
“The meal isn’t over when I’m full, the meal is over when I hate myself.” – Louis C. K.

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Thanksgiving Jokes

17.
What do you get when you cross an octopus with a turkey?
Finally enough drumsticks for everybody at Thanksgiving. Provided you can catch the darned critter.

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Thanksgiving Jokes

18.
Why didn’t the turkey bake properly on Thanksgiving?
I’ve no idea but I suspect some fowl play.

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Thanksgiving Jokes

19.
What do you call a turkey whizzing through the air past your head because the oven exploded?
Fast food.

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Thanksgiving Jokes

20.
The native Indians were laughing at the Pilgrims for being so pale and never getting a proper tan.
But they did get a tan. A puritan.

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Thanksgiving Jokes

21.
What smells the best at dinner on Thanksgiving?
The family dog’s nose.

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Thanksgiving Jokes

22.
Brilliant geek joke:
What is the easiest recipe for a pumpkin pie?
Simply divide the pumpkin’s circumference by its diameter.

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Thanksgiving Jokes

24.
“Thanksgiving is a magical time of year when families across the country join together to raise America’s obesity statistics.” Stephen Colbert

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Thanksgiving Jokes

25.
What usually comes at the end of Thanksgiving?
Traditionally, the letter G.

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Thanksgiving Jokes

26.
Should you have that annoying distant auntie for Thanksgiving dinner?
It’s really not worth it. Just have the turkey.

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Thanksgiving Jokes

27.
“The turkey is dilated to 3.5 inches, stuffing is crowning, time to eat everybody!”
That’s what happens at Thanksgiving when your mom is an obstetrician.

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Thanksgiving Jokes

28.
Why did the turkey cross the road before Thanksgiving?
He was trying to give people the impression that he was a chicken.

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Thanksgiving Jokes

29.
What happens when you seriously overstuff yourself with turkey at Thanksgiving?
You have a few slices of pumpkin pie.

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Thanksgiving Jokes

30.
What’s black, white and red?
A Pilgrim blushing because he’d seen the turkey dressing.

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Thanksgiving Jokes

31.
What did the pilgrim do when he bit into a bad piece of corn?
He made a pilgrimace.

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Thanksgiving Jokes

32.
How did the Pilgrims die?
It was the Pilgrim Reaper.

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Thanksgiving Jokes

33.
Why couldn’t the Thanksgiving entertainment band perform?
Somebody had eaten the drumsticks.

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Thanksgiving Jokes