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Thanksgiving Jokes

Newest jokes in this category

37.
Over the long journey and having overcome many hardships together, the Pilgrims’ bonds strengthened and they all became pretty good Palgrims.

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Thanksgiving Jokes

38.
What can never ever be eaten for Thanksgiving dinner?
Thanksgiving breakfast.

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Thanksgiving Jokes

39.
What happened the first time one of the settlers tried to write favor instead of favour?
He was attacked by a Pilgrammar nаzi.

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Thanksgiving Jokes

40.
What’s the link between turkeys and teddies?
Stuffing. Lots of stuffing.

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Thanksgiving Jokes

41.
What’s the best way to deal with a turkey?
Have it killed and then cran-bury it!!!!

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Thanksgiving Jokes

42.
How many turkeys does it take to sсrеw in a lightbulb?
Well if I knew the answer, I wouldn’t be asking you, would I?

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Thanksgiving Jokes

43.
What do jazzy people put on their potatoes at Thanksgiving?
Groovy.

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Thanksgiving Jokes

45.
On Thanksgiving dinner, most of us turn into hipsters.
We all go out of our way to eat the turkey before it is cool.

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Thanksgiving Jokes

46.
“I love Thanksgiving turkey … it’s the only time in Los Angeles that you see natural вrеаsтs.”
- Arnold Schwarzenegger

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Thanksgiving Jokes

47.
What happens when you’re too harsh on the cranberries and make them sad?
They turn into blueberries.

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Thanksgiving Jokes

48.
When do you serve vegan vitarian matcha-tea-flavored turkey-shaped tofu-loaf?
At Pranksgiving.

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Thanksgiving Jokes

49.
Knock knock!
Who’s there?
Tamara.
Tamara who?
Tamara the feeding frenzy starts all over again, yay!

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Thanksgiving Jokes

50.
What’s the easiest way to catch a turkey?
Ask a friend to toss one at you.

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Thanksgiving Jokes

Bonus thanksgiving jokes
Why isn’t it a good idea to do bad things (e. G. pick your nose when you think no-one’s looking) at Thanksgiving table?
Because the potatoes are keeping their eyes peeled.

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Thanksgiving Jokes

I had to do something about my addiction to Thanksgiving leftovers.
Cold turkey was the only way to do it.

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Thanksgiving Jokes

What is the best Thanksgiving cookie?
One baked with May-flour.

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Thanksgiving Jokes

“Thanksgiving, when the Indians said, ‘Well, this has been fun, but we know you have a long voyage back to England.’” – Jay Leno

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Thanksgiving Jokes

“Last Thanksgiving I shot my own turkey. It was fun. That shot gun going, "Blam! Blam!"
Everybody at the supermarket just staring. Why track them when I know where they are?” – Kenny Rogerson

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Thanksgiving Jokes

Turkey fun facts:
- Turkey quite possibly didn’t feature on the first Thanksgiving menu. The records point more towards a duck or a goose.
- Turkeys can get a heart attack. This was discovered when the US Air Force were testing breaking the sound barrier and the huge boom ended up with a field of turkeys dead from fright.
- Black Friday is the busiest day of the year for plumbers. Guess why.
- Benjamin Franklin wanted turkey to become US national animal. He thought the eagle had a “bad moral character”.
- Because of the very harsh conditions during that first year of 1621, many historians believe that only 5 Pilgrim women (out of the 50 Pilgrims in total) were present at the Thanksgiving feast.
- That’s probably how many have survived.
- A wild turkey, when scared, can run 20 mph (32 kph).
- After a stroll on the Moon, the first meal Neil Armstrong and Buzz Aldrin enjoyed was roast turkey (in a foil packet, but still).

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Thanksgiving Jokes

What did the turkey say to the lady who visited the farmer in November?
“I heard Target is having a special chicken sale!”

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Thanksgiving Jokes