Office and Work Jokes

Newest jokes in this category
Office and Work Jokes Sexist Jokes
The Law of Volunteering"
If you dance with a grizzly bear, you had better let him lead.
"The Law of Avoiding Oversell"
When putting cheese in a mousetrap, always leave room for the mouse.
"The Law of Common Sense"
Never accept a drink from a urologist.
"The Law of Reality"
Never get into fights with less attractive people, they have less to lose.
"The Law of Self Sасrifiсе"
When you starve with a tiger, the tiger starves last.
"Weiler's Law"
Nothing is impossible for the man who doesn't have to do it himself.
"Law of Probable Dispersal"
Whatever hits the fаn will not be evenly distributed.
"Law of Volunteer Labor"
People are always available for work in the past tense.
"Conway's Law"
In any organization there is one person who knows what is going on. That person must be fired.
"Iron Law of Distribution"
Them that has, gets.
"Law of Cybernetic Entomology"
There is always one more bug.
"Law of Drunkenness"
You can't fall off the floor.
Office and Work Jokes Men jokes
The elderly nurse approached her co-workers in the break room:
“I am mortified, disgusted and insulted. Someone else is going to have to give the patient in bed 429 his bath.”
“What is the problem, Nurse Jackson?” asked another nurse.
“Well, if you must know, he has a…a tattoo on his … his реnis!”
(Gasps are heard throughout the nurse’s break room.)
“Yes, the tattoo ‘JSWAN’ is plainly visible … it is disgusting!”
“I will bathe him, Nurse Jackson,” said the youngest nurse, a 24-year-old blonde. “You can give a bath to my female patient in room 422.”
Hours later, the nurses are having their lunch in the break room, and Sheryl, the young nurse, smiles and says, “Nurse Jackson was wrong about the tattoo. It doesn’t say ‘JSWAN’, it says ‘JOE’S BAR AND GRILLE SASKATCHEWAN!’ “
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Office and Work Jokes Ethnic and Racial Jokes
Ninety year old aboriginal elder sat in his humpy eyeing two government ‘Welfare’ officials sent to interview him .
One official said to him:
“You have observed the white man for 90 years. You have seen his wars and his technological advances.
You have seen his progress and the damage he has done.”The elder nodded in agreement. The official continued:
“Considering all these events, in your opinion, where did the whitefella go wrong?”
The elder stared at the two government officials for over a minute and then he calmly replied:
“When whitefella found the land, blackfellas were running it.
No taxes, No debt, Plenty kangaroo, Plenty fish, Women did all the work, Medicine man free, Aboriginal man spent all day hunting and fishing, All night having sеx.” Then the elder leaned back and smiled:
“Only whitefella вlооdy sтuрid enough to think he could improve a system like that.”
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Office and Work Jokes
Office and Work Jokes
Office and Work Jokes Marriage and Family Jokes Ethnic and Racial Jokes
A father is listening to his daughter say her prayers before bed. The daughter says “God bless Mummy and God Bless Daddy and God bless Grandma and good bye Grandad.” The father says, “Good bye Grandad? Why is that?” The daughter says, “Just because I felt like it.” The next day, Grandad drops dead. The father can’t believe the coincidence, but decided not to question it. That night, he listens to the daughter’s prayers again. She says, “God bless Mummy and God bless Daddy and goodbye Grandma.” The father is shocked again and asks his daughter why, but she says again, “Just because I felt like it.” The next day, the Grandma drops dead and now the Father is getting worried but doesn’t know what to do, so he tries to forget about it. That night, he listens to his daughter again and she says, “God bless Mummy and goodbye Daddy.” The father is now terrified and goes to work the next day sweating, cancels all of his meetings, and hides in his office for the whole day. He doesn’t go home and stays there until midnight. He’s very surprised. ‘I’ve cheated death!’ he thinks to himself, then rushes home. His wife asks, “Where have you been?!” and the husband says, “Oh don’t ask me any questions, today’s been miserable.” The wife replies, “Your days been miserable? Well, listen to my day! Firstly, the milk man drops dead on the porch…”
Office and Work Jokes Marriage and Family Jokes God Jokes Dad Jokes Sick and Death Jokes
I don't suffer from insanity; I enjoy every minute of it.
I work hard because millions on welfare depend on me!
I used to have a handle on life, but it broke.
Don't take life too seriously; No one gets out alive.
You're just jealous because the voices only talk to me.
Beauty is in the eye of the вееr holder.
Earth is the insane asylum for the universe.
I'm not a complete idiот. Some parts are missing.
Out of my mind. Back in five minutes.
NyQuil, the stuffy, sneezy, why-the-heck-is-the-room-spinning
Medicine.
God must love sтuрid people; He made so many.
The gene pool could use a little chlorine.
Consciousness: That annoying time between naps.
Ever stop to think, and forget to start again?
Being "over the hill" is much better than being under it!
Procrastinate Now!
I have a degree in liberal arts; do you want fries with that?
A hangover is the wrath of grapes.
A journey of a thousand miles begins with a cash advance.
Stupidity is not a handicap. Park elsewhere!
He who dies with the most toys is nonetheless dead.
A picture is worth a thousand words, but it uses up three
Thousand times the memory.
Ham and eggs. A day's work for a chicken, a lifetime
Commitment for a pig.
The original point and click interface was a Smith and Wesson.
Make your words sweet & tender today, for tomorrow you
May have to eat them.
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