At a recent computer expo (COMDEX), Bill Gates reportedly compared the computer industry with the auto industry and stated "If GM had kept up with technology like the computer industry has, we would all be driving twenty-five dollar cars that got 1000 mi/gal."
Recently General Motors addressed this comment by releasing the statement:
"Yes, but would you want your car to crash twice a day?"
Not only that, but....
Every time they repainted the lines on the road you would have to buy a new car.
Occasionally your car would die on the freeway for no reason, and you would just accept this, restart and drive on.
Occasionally, executing a maneuver would cause your car to stop and fail and you would have to re-install the engine. For some strange reason, you would accept this too.
You could only have one person in the car at a time, unless you bought "Car95" or "CarNT". But, then you would have to buy more seats.
Macintosh would make a car that was powered by the sun, was reliable, five times as fast, twice as easy to drive, but would only run on five percent of the roads.
The Macintosh car owners would get expensive Microsoft upgrades to their cars, which would make their cars run much slower.
The oil, gas and alternator warning lights would be replaced by a single "general car default" warning light.
New seats would force everyone to have the same size вuтт.
The airbag system would say "are you sure?" before going off.
If you were involved in a crash, you would have no idea what happened.

Computer Problem Report Form
1. Describe your problem:
- ________________________________________
2. Now, describe the problem accurately:
- ________________________________________
3. Speculate wildly about the cause of the problem:
- ________________________________________
- ________________________________________
4. Problem Severity:
A. Minor__
B. Minor__
C. Minor__
D. Trivial__
5. Nature of the problem:
A. Locked Up__
B. Frozen__
C. Hung__
D. Shot__
6. Is your computer plugged in?
Yes__ No__
7. Is it turned on?
Yes__ No__
8. Have you tried to fix it yourself?
Yes__ No__
9. Have you made it worse?
Yes__
10. Have you read the manual?
Yes__ No__
11. Are you sure you've read the manual?
Yes__ No__
12. Are you absolutely certain you've read the manual?
No__
13. Do you think you understood it?
Yes__ No__
14. If `Yes' then why can't you fix the problem yourself? __________________________________________
15. How tall are you? Are you above this line?
- ________________________________________
16. What were you doing with your computer at the time the problem occurred?
- ________________________________________
17. If "nothing" explain why you were logged in.
- ________________________________________
18. Are you sure you aren't imagining the problem?
Yes__ No__
19. How does this problem make you feel?
- ________________________________________
20. Tell me about your childhood.
- ________________________________________
21. Do you have any independent witnesses of the problem?
Yes__ No__
22. Can't you do something else, instead of bothering me?
Yes__
Thank you for taking the time to fill out our Computer Problems Form. Please allow 1-week response time so that the problem will resolve its self or you will reboot your computer, most likely resolving the issue.