Dinosaur jokes

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Q: What's the nickname for someone who put their right hand in the mouth of a T-Rex?
A: Lefty.

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Yo mama so fат she was the meteor that killed the dinos.

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They have traced the Gаy Gene all the way back to the time of the Dinosaurs.
They found two distinct species.
They have named them Lickalotapus and Megasoreass.

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In some quarters, bookstores may be considered dinosaurs, but odd customers are evergreen, as these requests to bookstore clerks prove.
"Can you tell me who the author of Shakespeare is?"
"I'm looking for a book, but I only know the title, not the author. It's called Dante's Inferno."
"I definitely don't want nonfiction. I like autobiographies and history."
"Do you have Shakespeare in English?"

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A blonde was taking the tour of a national park not long ago.
The ranger mentioned to the tour group that dinosaur fossils had been found in the area.
The blonde exclaimed, "Wow! I can't believe the dinosaurs would come this close to the highway!"

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Q: What's the best way to talk to a velociraptor?
A: Long distance!

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Courtesy of my 6yo daughter: What do you call a dinosaur that takes care of its teeth?
A Flossiraptor

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In the first Jurassic Park movie, the Tyrannosaurus Rex wasn't chasing the jeep.
Chuck Norris was chasing the Tyrannosaurus and the jeep.

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What do you call a dinosaur with no eyes?
Doyouthinkysaraus.

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Did you know the Dinosaurs crossed Chuck Norris?
But only once.

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A woman stopped by our customer-service desk and asked me for a copy of the book that has Jesus in it.
After much back-and-forth, I determined that she wanted the Bible.
After searching for a particular book on dinosaurs in the science section without luck, a customer looked to me for help.
She showed me a piece of paper with the title written on it: Thesaurus.

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Yo mama is so fат she made all the dinosaurs extinct.

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It is believed dinosaurs are extinct due to a giant meteor.
That's true if you want to call Chuck Norris a giant meteor.

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One dinosaur said,
"What do you want to be when you grow up?"
Another dinosaur said "A non-renewable recourse!"

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Once Chuck Norris went back in time and kicked a ball.
When it landed it wiped out the dinosaurs.

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Q: What game does the brontosaurus like to play with humans?
A: Squash.

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Q: What do you get when you cross a dinosaur with Chuck Norris?
A: Nothing. Nobody crosses Chuck Norris.

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Mama Raptor and Papa Raptor were in court getting a divorce and the judge offered Baby Raptor a choice of which parent to live with.
JUDGE: "Do you want to live with your mother?"
BABY RAPTOR: "No! She beats me."
JUDGE: "OK, then you can live with your father."
BABY RAPTOR: "No! He beats me too!"
JUDGE: "Well you have to live with someone. Who do you want to live with?"
BABY RAPTOR: "I want to live with my Aunt Bertha in Toronto."
JUDGE: "Is there any chance she'll beat you also?"
BABY RAPTOR: "No sir. The Toronto Raptors don't beat anybody."

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